There’s No “Substitute” For Raven Alexis

Hot, juicy sex, strong performers, and satisfying pairings narrowly save the new Raven Alexis movie, "The Substitute." There will, in fact, be a morning after for her after this performance, and maybe even a career.

It's funny when you hear someone say a word or phrase that they clearly don't understand or would normally never use. In the case of Raven Alexis, that sentence comes out while being interviewed by Ben English about being the new substitute teacher at one of the most progressive ESL schools we've ever seen. "You are aware of my situation and my discrepancies?" Raven stumbles through, the final word barely forming on her lips as her nervousness and lack of familiarity add to what is already the most awkward dialogue-heavy initial interview scene in the history of porn. It's absolutely necessary, however, because that scene is in fact the shoestring thin plot device holding this farce of light and magic together long enough to pretend it's a feature and not a series of school-themed vignettes.

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings," howls Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, back through the terrible vortex of the past, reminding us of the simple, unwavering truth of our industry: if these girls could act, we mean really act, they wouldn't be fucking on film. It's not shoddy and unimaginative screenwriting that's dashing the performances of these pornstars. It's that they act from the genitals, and not from their hearts. All of their careful sound and fury is reserved for the big show, the real performance, the hard sucking and fucking.

Who can look Ben English in the face and take him seriously after watching his tongue in cheek display as Dean of Fuck U? No one. But you will not forget what he does to beautiful Cindy Hope or Madison Parker any time soon if you see this flick. It's extraordinary! Few male performers possess the stamina and intensity that Ben English easily conveys on screen, the ability to control his partners and draw out amazing scenes that mask his role as the cock prop puppet master.

Raven, the substitute teacher who use her sex to "help" her students learn, tackles Manuel Ferrara first and then steals Mick Blue's virginity. We recommend just skipping the dialogue here and going right to the sex, which is perfect by most any standard. Raven's thick, juicy bubble looks like a small slice of heaven when it's bouncing up and down on a fat, thick cock. The only words coming out of her beautifully dirty little mouth should be that steady stream of luscious deep moans she delivers when getting nailed right by a professional cocksman. Just watching her transform from inept schoolmarm to insatiable fuck bunny was enough to erase the embarrassment of her previous attempted acting performance forever. In other words, don't act baby. Just fuck.

Last but not least, we'd like to acknowledge Diamond Foxxx, her mesmerizing breasts, and her bubble gum pink vagina. She truly is amazing, taking young Christian Clay under her pussy and into her mouth and working the kinks out of him. Diamond has been plugging away now all year, turning in one memorable scene after another with little or no recognition. Unarguably, she is the best unsung siren of 2010.

"Raven Alexis The Substitute" comes out next week from Digital Playground. Check the gallery. Don't steal. Don't misbehave. Do enjoy yourselves.

· Buy "The Substitute" (digitalplayground.com)
· All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Raven Alexis
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Raven Alexis and Manuel Ferrara
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Raven Alexis and Manuel Ferrara
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Raven Alexis and Manuel Ferrara
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Raven Alexis and Manuel Ferrara
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Raven Alexis and Manuel Ferrara
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Diamond Foxxx and Christian Clay
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Diamond Foxxx and Christian Clay
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Diamond Foxxx and Christian Clay
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Diamond Foxxx and Christian Clay
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Jessica Moore and Tommy Gunn
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Jessica Moore and Tommy Gunn
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Jessica Moore and Tommy Gunn
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Jessica Moore and Tommy Gunn
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Cindy Hope and Madison Parker
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Cindy Hope and Madison Parker
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Cindy Hope, Madison Parker, and Ben English
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Cindy Hope, Madison Parker, and Ben English
Buy "The Substitute" (digitalplayground.com)
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Cindy Hope, Madison Parker, and Ben English
Buy "The Substitute" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Cindy Hope, Madison Parker, and Ben English
Buy "The Substitute" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Cindy Hope, Madison Parker, and Ben English
Buy "The Substitute" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
Cindy Hope, Madison Parker, and Ben English
Buy "The Substitute" (digitalplayground.com)
All images courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)