Porn For Straight Girls: Gushing Over “Gush: The Official Guide To The G-Spot”

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I flew all the way to New York to wrangle this DVD from Ottimo Massimo. No joke. I mean, I was coming to New York for other reasons too, but this was a big freaking deal. And whoa, Carol Queen totally surpassed my extremely high expectations.

"Gush" is a guide to female ejaculation and the G-Spot, two things I am obsessed with. First of all, I really want to learn to ejaculate, because I am a modern woman and determined to do everything men can do. Also, I think it's sexy. And I'm always looking for information on the G-Spot, because its workings are mysterious even to me. This movie is fantastic because, much like "Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Female Orgasms," I just got to watch a bunch of women come over and over again. Love the educational videos, apparently.

Ottimo already wrote a kick-ass review of the movie, so I'm mostly going to focus on the scenes I liked rather than giving you a detailed breakdown. I will say that Dr. Carol Queen is great, but I didn't like the radio interview inserts as much as Tristan's "let's tailor my lecture to this scene!" approach. I mean, the scenes went with the questions, but for whatever reason I didn't feel they exactly matched.

My favorite scenes were Maxwell Silver and Mirabelle Hayes, who were adorable and so much fun to watch, and Dylan Ryan and Mickey Mod, who are just ridiculously hot. (I liked all the other scenes too, though, so don't think it's not worth it because I'm only focusing on these.) The whole film felt really relaxed and casual, and it seemed like everyone was just concentrating on having a good time and getting off, without paying much attention to the camera. The scenes weren't very long, which was actually kind of nice, since sometimes I feel things drag on with porn. The music was pretty subtle, and the sets were realistic. (I always notice these things.)

Maxwell and Mirabelle are apparently a real-life couple, so that's cool! They are also total babes. I wonder if Maxwell's moniker isn't his real one, and if so, if he named himself after the Beatles' song. He's a cutie, in any case, and Mirabelle looks like Molly Ringwald circa "The Breakfast Club." They start making out fully clothed, and then slowly strip one another. Maxwell spreads Mirabelle open and starts going at her pussy with his fingers in a way that says, "I know exactly how to get my girl off." Mirabelle is super abandoned and noisy and gorgeous, and he clearly thinks so too since he spends most of the scene with an expression of utter delight on his face as he watches her writhe around.

Speaking of babes, the pornier part of "Gush" includes Dylan Ryan and Mickey Mod playing a couple. Dylan comes home after a hard day of work, and Mickey is sweetly making her dinner and cupcakes and pouring her wine. She's all, "Screw the cupcakes, I need you to fuck me right now." Oh my gosh, he is so freaking sexy. I would like to watch these two fuck all the time forever and ever. That's how amazing they are together. (By the way, if Dylan sees this, I'd like her to know that I think the blonde hair is a great color for her. That is all.) When I saw Dylan squirt in her scene with Mr. Marcus in "Expert Guide To Female Orgasms," I thought I had seen her hottest moment. I was wrong. She got even hotter while I was busy looking elsewhere. She and Mickey are vocal with one another, which I like because I feel like everyone should talk more while having sex. Tell your partner what you want!

Basically, this is awesome, you should buy it, and then you should spend an evening in either on your own or with your partner and find your G-Spot and figure out how to ejaculate. Or, if you know how to do that, do it again while watching other women do it. Or buy it for all your friends who are always like, "Where's my G-Spot? How do I have great orgasms like you?" They will thank you, and then you'll have this whole club of really satisfied women who know how to ejaculate. Next, you'll find yourself answering, "What should we do today?" by saying, "Same thing we do every day. Try to take over the world!"

(Maybe not that last bit.)

· Good Releasing (goodreleasing.com)
· Buy "Gush: The Official Guide to the G-Spot & Female Ejaculation" (goodvibes.com)

Previously: Porn For Straight Girls Archive