Porn For Straight Girls: Sur-Really Good Sex

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Yes, that is a terrible pun. Forgive me. I'm kind of scraping the bottom of my porn barrel (there's not really a barrel, but that would be amazing) with this one because I'm running out of unwatched DVDs from work, but I actually really enjoyed it. Guess what the cover didn't give away? Mr. Marcus is in this!

Nothing on the cover, the website, or the other reviews of "Surreal Sex 2" explains to me what makes it "surreal." All that I found were repeated announcements of a "surreal twist," which never quite materialized. It's not like Nick Manning's (yeah, he's in this too!) dick suddenly turned into a telephone which was really a lobster. It's not like everyone's faces were draped in white shrouds. It's not like they were fucking on toilets and the toilets said "Duchamp." Sorry, that's Dada. What are we talking about again? Oh, so I decided to give each scene a rating, from 1-5, on its level of surreality.

Low Art, a division of Low Life, has the same peculiar shot-on-film, minimal lighting, stark sets-aesthetic as its parent studio. The first scene opened by panning down Natasha Nice's body as she's writhing around in pink lingerie. Sexy music, more writhing, and Nick Manning comes down a staircase behind her, revealing that she's in a hallway! The music stops just as he's going to town on her pussy, which means I was startled from making my breakfast by sudden shrieking. My avocado was fine, thanks for asking. I go back and forth on Nick's hotness, but here he indulged his growly, hair-swinging lion side, and it was sexy. Also, Natasha seemed to come a lot, and he was into it. Surreality rating: 2, because Nick didn't say "Dropping loads!" And they were fucking in a hallway.

The second scene I was super excited for, because it paired Asa Akira and Mr. Marcus. Whoa, hotness. Asa was painted with all sorts of 3-D body art, glittery flowers running down her sides and clustered on her neck for some reason. She's playing with a candle next to, like, an old-fashioned elevator cage, and Mr. Marcus reaches through the bars, lights it, and pours the wax down her body as she masturbates. It was awesome. Asa was a little noisy for my taste, but Mr. Marcus' low chanting of "Okay, okay, okay," was so hot that I barely noticed. It was a pretty traditional scene, for having gotten off to such a kinky start, but the sex was great. Surreality rating: 3, for kink, Asa's random body decor, and the fact that there were so many close-up shots that I could see the change in sweat quality on Mr. Marcus' balls.

Scene three found us Angela Aspen and Ralph Long. It opens in medias res, with Angela already sucking dick and, inexplicably, flicking off the camera. It gets, uh, messy. Her saliva is everywhere. Ralph wasn't someone I was familiar with before this, and I still don't feel that familiar with him because most of the focus was on Angela. All I can tell you is that Ralph is very pale, and fairly quiet, and kept his shirt on the entire time. The glimpses I did get of him made him seem good-looking, though. Surreality level: 1, because I think that all these things are pretty porn-standard.

The final scene was a threesome between Nick Manning, Chase Evans, and Charlotte Vale, set in a military hospital where Nick was an injured soldier, Chase was his militant (really) nurse, and Charlotte was the submissive sex toy there to make him feel better. The whole thing was very angry and there was a lot of yelling and I was generally disturbed so I'd rather not go into it. However, the surreality rating was a 5, because I have no idea what that scene was even doing in this movie and I think it might have been an extra they tacked on because they ran out of filming time.

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. A lot of Low Life and Low Art gets kind of one note, but in this each scene was different enough to keep it engaging and there were some great performers. It was pretty, and plotless, and you know I love that. I'm still completely bemused by that last bit, but if you've been dying for some Mr. Marcus action, because who isn't, I'd totally point you in this direction.

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