Netflix Picks: Flicks For Escaping Your Thanksgiving Weekend

Chances are, you're going to see your family today or tomorrow, and you probably haven't seen them in a while. There will be discomfort. So when the going gets tough, grab the WiFi password, a private room, and blow off a little tension with the finest smut Netflix has to offer.

We don't want you to abandon your family's Thanksgiving festivities so you can go watch softcore porn—that's what Christmas is for—but as you're ruminating on all the things you have to be thankful for, don't forget to say a little special thanks to Netflix. Lord knows they're not hosting all this nudity for their own sake.

1. The Decameron: If you're looking for something slightly respectable to watch in private, try Pier Paolo Passolini's adaptation of this absurdly raunchy set of medieval allegories. Sex runs all over this book, and although Passolini couldn't include every last dirty story, he doesn't hold back on the nudity. You should read the book while you're at it! There's an especially naughty story that involves a monk teaching a young woman how to "put the devil back in Hell."

2. Sex Pot: Brace yourself: it's another movie from The Asylum. This time, they're bringing us the story of two boys who desperately want to get laid, and they're armed with nothing but extreme desperation and a strange strain of weed that makes chicks unbelievably horny. Why isn't this a plot device in other movies? The public isn't ready to face the truth about marijuana. Anyway, as we mentioned when we ran a clip of this fine film, "Is it good? No. Are there boobs? Many."

3. Love in Sampan: Netflix users generally review this movie poorly, casting it as nothing but a bunch of Asian porn with a vague plot, but we think that's unfair. "Love in Sampan" deals with the social structure of a poor, rural Chinese community and how an unfortunate young woman named Kiu gets married off so that her parents can make a little money. Is there a ton of sex and nudity? Yes, there is. Does Kiu's sexuality grow in its own way? Sure does. Is this a good movie? It has potential!

4. American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile: This is, in our estimation, the perfect thing to watch this weekend. Thanksgiving is American and involves eating pie, what more could you ask for? Ok, maybe you'd rather be watching the original film with Shannon Elizabeth's boobs and actual pie penetration, but we assure you this has all of the nudity and silliness you require. And after spending a few days with your relatives, you're going to want to strip naked and run screaming down the street, too.

[Above: Thanksgiving feast via Boobie Blog (boobieblog.com)]