Fleshbot’s Spring TV Guide: Love In The Air, Lust On TV

Winter has passed, Passover and Easter are here, and people all over the northern hemisphere are leaving their homes and dancing in the streets. But, you know, you don't have to leave the house. Heck, you've got windows, right? Right. So why don't you plop back down in front of the TV and get ready for all the smutty programming that's coming this season.

As we say farewell to "Californication," "House of Lies," "Shameless," and "Spartacus: Vengeance" (fingers crossed for no cancellations), we turn to the names and faces who will hopefully be flashing their boobs and butts. Some are new, some old, and some we only discovered minutes before writing this post.

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Game of Thrones - April 1
"Game of Thrones" already had its season premiere, and we we're deeply saddened by the lack of nudity it displayed. Still, we have high hopes for this show! Yes, the storyline is rich and engrossing, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about Emilia Clarke, who ended the last season by emerging naked and barely scorched from her husband's funeral pyre with a couple of dragon hatchlings in tow. Does ending a season with tits and dragons mean you have to begin the following season with tits and dragons? Not necessarily, but we do love symmetry (and breasts).

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The Borgias - April 8
If we had to pick our favorite evil and powerful yet undeniably sexy family from history, it'd have to be the Borgia clan, and we think Showtime agrees with us. The very first episode of "The Borgias" came with nudity, and it continued to deliver intrigue and nipples at an equal pace. We've been a bit spoiled, you know? If we don't see Lucrezia put her kissing lessons (shown above) to good use on April 8th, we're going to throw a huge tantrum. Maybe we'll poison someone. That's how the Borgias handle their problems!

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Magic City - April 6
We got a little taste of Starz's new series today, and we are already damn impressed. It's set in Miami in 1959, and follows the owner of Miami's most glamorous hotel, the Miramar Playa, as he deals with powerful celebrities, angry employees, and the local mob. The first episode involved the owner's son sleeping with the mob boss's new wife! Plus, Olga Kurylenko is in this! You guys, we're insanely excited for "Magic City," and the first three episodes are now free online. We're so happy.

Girls - April 15
When asked about whether or not "Girls" would bring nudity to HBO this season, a certain Fleshbot editrix had this to say, "It's about twenty-something year-old girls having sex and stuff." That settles that! Critics have been responding positively to the show since it debuted at SXSW, and the fact that the whole show focuses on "four friends, adrift in a modern New York of unpaid internships and bad sex on dirty sofas" gives us great hope that we'll see Lena Dunham getting super freaky this Spring.

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The Big C - April 8
"The Big C" is often our longshot call; there have been a lot of near-naked moments in the past, Laura Linney has looked at her giant tits in the murky reflection of her refrigerator door, and we've even seen some extended breast groping, but we're always left wanting more. But hey, it's a new season, Cathy (Laura Linney) was last seen freaking out about the death of Paul, and--though it may be cruel of us to say--nothing gets rid of grief like showing your tits on Showtime!