Netflix Picks: Sex In The Seventies

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If you still don't have a 2013 calendar and you don't have the energy to go out and get one, you can just reuse a calendar from 1974. And while you're going back in time, you might as well brush up on your movie nudity from that era. It's the responsible thing to do when you're too cheap for new calendars!

1. The Teacher: Is it just our imagination, or does it seem like every third movie from the '70s is about teachers and (legally aged) students hooking up? Like, was that all anyone thought about in those days? We're showing our age right now. Anyway, "The Teacher" stars Angel Tompkins (of "General Hospital" fame) as Diane, a 28 year-old teacher who spends most of her summer with 18 year-old Sean (Jay North) while her lame husband spends all of his time racing motorcycles. While Diane seduces the shy youth, she is closely watched by a crazed stalker who is in love with her and blames Sean for his brother's death. By the way, Jay North is best known for playing the titular character on CBS's "Dennis the Menace" way back in the day, so you're looking at a fascinating mish-mosh of former child stars and sexploitation. Ah, the Seventies! Anyhow, you can see Angel's heavenly body being tanned, spied upon, and banged at 9:00, 12:00, 36:00, 43:00, and 52:00.

2. Malibu Beach: Look, all these people want to do is hang out at the beach with their friends and have fun. Is that so much to ask? Dina (Kim Lankford) got a summer job as a lifeguard so she can work on her tan, but she's far too busy dealing with her suitors to worry about guarding lives! Irresponsible? You bet it is. And that bit of classic retro carelessness doesn't come alone; "Malibu Beach" is home to a slew of summer sexploitation tropes. You get bullies, nerds, lifeguards, sharks, precocious brats, police, drugs, chicken races, horny teachers, topless beach babes, and (as you can see in the video) a bikini stealing dog! Kick back and let your brain melt over this harmless exercise in youthful antics, and check for boobage at 8:00, 28:00, 32:00, 33:00, 34:00, 1:16:00, and 1:19:00.

[At top: a very well-trained dog takes care of business in "Malibu Beach" (movies.netflix.com)]