“Falling For You” Or Perhaps Just Your Fine Shiny Ass

Is it love? Is it lust? No, it's something in between: it's the immediate and pressing need to sink your hands and teeth into the glistening buttocks on the massage table in front of you; it's restless leg syndrome that affects the genitals; it's the reason pre-nuptial agreements can include clauses that instigate divorce in case one party loses her ass luster.

But let's not dwell on the nuanced emotions that slowly pick away at the heart. Instead, let's focus on the big things--the big dicks, for example--that drive the action in "Falling for You." There are a few of them and they are very busy.

Jesse Jane loves her life, her boyfriend, Tommy Gunn, and she loves her roommates, Manuel Ferrara and Erik Everhard. However, Tommy doesn't feel the same way about her, and though the sex is amazing (natch), he's pretty much done with their relationship. Bummer City, population: Jesse. It's nothing some good lighthearted screwing can't fix!

When things seem darkest for Jesse, she discovers that Manuel has been in love with her since they met, and she realizes she feels the same way. They screw in a luxurious bed with an ornate headboard and--the best part--a half-eaten bag of microwave popcorn on the nightstand. That last detail leads us to believe that this sex arises after the two roomies snuggle up for some movie watching; one thing leads to another, the light on Jesse's plump lips make them twinkle with artificial butter, and Manuel can't help but kiss them. She rides him reverse cowgirl until he can no longer calm his hips, at which point he spreads her thighs apart and fucks her from beneath. We don't know where he comes or how, but we pray that their post-coital snuggles include a fistful of popcorn eaten off each other's bodies.

Of course, there are other issues to deal with around the house, namely the rent. Manuel earns his keep as a tennis instructor for Missy Martinez, but Missy doesn't care for the game at all. The only thing she likes about it is the outfit she gets to wear, and the fact that she gets to keep her sporty socks on while fondling Manuel's racket and balls. If you ask us, we think Missy is more cut out for ballet than tennis. Just look at this pose she's striking with Manuel: it's "Swan Lake" with penetration.

Meanwhile, Erik is trying to pull in some cash as a masseuse. He buys a massage table, gets some clients, they turn out to be sexy women, and he quickly realizes that he doesn't have the professionalism to distance his perverted mind from the soft flesh on display, begging for his touch. One look at Ella Milano's shiny ass and he has to spread those cheeks apart and slip a few fingers in her pussy. We don't think he even tries to massage Pressley Carter; he just does her right there on the table. Do you think he still gets paid?

This might sound sinister, but we think it'd be cute if Jesse, Manuel, and Erik couldn't afford their huge home and ended up on the road, screwing and sucking their way across California until they find the right spot. They could also get better jobs, but that's no fun.

· All photos courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy "Falling for You" (store.fleshbot.com)