Truth and Porn

According to the magazine that puts half-naked men on its cover, there are a number of distortions to pornography that Men's Health wants its readers to know about. That's like saying Superman can't really fly. Duh. We're not watching pornography to learn something. It's like going to the theater and having the song-and-dance man suck. We could do that, too. What's the point? The point is that we want entertainment. We want super-sexualized behavior. We want fantasy and fiction to fill our mind with fun and distraction from the everyday toil of daily living. We want something better.

Sure, double-penetration is something reserved for the screen not the bedroom. First of all, unless you like the feel of another man's penis against yours as you're making it with your babe, this is likely not something you'd like to actual experience. Thanks for the tips on replicating it at home, Men's Health, but we're not as literal minded as you guys are.

Oddly, there solution for the partner that's not a noisemaker as some vocal porn stars are is for you to turn up the volume on the porno you're watching as you're fucking. Talk about a distraction. If we need more moaning, we'll provide it ourselves.

Dirty talk, money shots and hard-ons are further discussed, dissected and debated, but you know what we always say: if you're talking about sex you're not fucking. So, our advice to the editors of Men's Health is to shut the fuck up and fuck.

Via Men's Health