Quit Blocking My Porn, Bro

Imagine a world in which you live in a nowhere town with your bros, and all you wanna do is unwind and watch some porn. You attempt to access a tube site, because you're not about to pay for porn, bro, and out of nowhere, every porn site is blocked by your ISP. This nightmare scenario was recently endured by four bros, who weren't gonna take it lying down.

According to the Indiana Daily Student (link below), these bros—who hilariously named their Wi-Fi network "Rimjobs for Molly" (sick, bro)—quickly discovered that they weren't the only bros at their apartment complex whose porn was being cockblocked. 

The roommates reached out to other tenants — at least four different apartments — who reported back the same issue: nobody could access their porn... They learned at least half the residents of Stadium Crossing, formerly known as the Varsity Villas, have been without access to some of the most heavily trafficked porn sites on the Internet.

One of the bros, Elliott Ritterling, thinks that this is the beginning of something nefarious by ISPs.

“It’s the principle of it,” he said. “Sure, right now they’re blocking our porn, but looking down the line, who’s to stop them from blocking something else?”

I know, bro. Today it's porn, tomorrow, they're putting you on a bus and putting you in internment camps. Sidebar, this reminds me of the same argument you heard regurgitated against gay marriage for years: "Sure, today you're marrying a man, and tomorrow it's a goat." How do these leaps occur? Who said anything about goats? It always makes me wary of the person making such an argument.

So where was their porn, and who was keeping it from them? A Stadium Crossing manager refused to comment on the record Monday afternoon, citing “personal reasons” and not wanting his name to be associated with a “porn piece.”

Dude, that's what pseudonyms are for. You think my name is actually Tucker Bankshot? 

When contacted by the Indiana Daily Student on Tuesday, ConsulTech sent a technician to the apartment complex immediately.

“We don’t do any type of selective filtering,” General Manager Derek Storvik said.

While he can’t be sure this early on, he said there’s reason to believe the porn sites themselves might be the root of the problem.

“A service provider of some sort hosting porn sites (has) blocked access to a subset of Internet addresses belonging to Stadium Crossing,” 
Storvik said.

See, this guy was smart enough to create a fake name. So how are these bros gonna get by?

(Roommate Dave) Hilton sat in front of Ritterling, who was still surveying the different tabs at his desktop. The two previously came up with means to bypass the blocks using proxy servers.

“Luckily, this is just a hindrance,” Hilton said, “and we can get around it.”

“We shouldn’t have to, though,” Ritterling said, glancing up from his monitor.

Keep on fighting the good fight, bro. Can't wait until you get to the real world, with real problems. You're gonna be great at solving them, bro.

Via Indiana Daily Student