Which Way To The Orgy?

There's a plague running through the Scottish countryside, and it probably looks and smells a lot like this guy. You see, we know of a remote farm outside of Glasgow where a pack of swingers live. Every July, orgies grow there. The only problem is, gaggles of horny swingers can't seem to find the farmhouse, forcing them to harass locals for directions.

According to The Daily Record (link below), the farm's neighbors are growing weary of helping out these poor lost souls, throwing their hands in the air and seeming to say, "there's too much directing around here."

The swingers wanting to romp at Caldercuit Farm have been plaguing locals for directions.

They often turn up looking for fun at neighbouring houses – leaving residents red-faced.

Now organisers are pleading with the kinky couples to get it right after a series of complaints.

So who could be organizing these orgies? A cadre of masked Eyes Wide Shut types? Nope...

Caroline Bulmer – a 51-year-old ex-Bank of Scotland manager – quit her job to organise sex parties with her partner.

She advertises on an adult website. Single women and couples are given free entry but single men are charged £20.

Let me guess, this probably leads to an inordinate amount of sausage fests, right?

Sources say as many as 100 men – who are asked to provide identification – turn up for sex.

Awesome. I would be willing to bet that if the neighbors were plagued by hot women turning up for directions, this would be a non-story.

Party-goers are also encouraged to bring alcohol and use a room which has been turned into a sex dungeon.

One neighbour said: “It’s frustrating when folk turn up looking for a good time and end up asking for directions.”

I'm willing to be that it's not as frustrating as when they actually find the right address and discover they're only one of a hundred dudes there. That's frustrating. In honor of the discovery of an actual sex farm, allow us to bathe in the warmth of Spinal Tap... 

Via The Daily Record