Vice Discusses The Female Masturbation Mystery

In their recent article "Girls Talk About How They Masturbate," Vice got down to the nitty gritty, asking a bunch of ladies exactly how they enjoy getting off and how they personally went about it. Between watching porn and enjoying a little bit of one-on-one time with their shower heads, Vice did a hell of a job at getting one step closer to explaining the age-old mystery of girly solo pleasure. Here's just a few of the ways that women claim to enjoy getting down and dirty:

"I'm a big fan of porn. I think that the Stoya films are amazing, for example. Most of the time I just watch short clips on PornHub, just because it's easy. You don't need to download anything. Still, though, it can take a while to find something good on there. Sometimes the actors are super gross, or the thumbnail was a total lie, or whatever. In terms of categories, I'm into things that I don't actually do myself—like toys (I don't have any), lesbians (I'm into men), and threesomes (not really my thing, but I have tried it). The execution isn't particularly spectacular—I just use my hand. As I said, I don't own a vibrator or anything like that. As lame as it seems, I usually just think about whoever it is that I fancy at that given moment."

"When I was 15 my best friend told me about the merits of shower heads and I developed a real taste for it. So that's basically all I use now. Sure, I've tried other things, too, but I think dildos are quite unappealing and flat—they just lack fantasy, don't they?"

"I guess I just do it normally, with my hand? When I was 17, me and my best friend bought a vibrator each—we'd heard that's what you do when you're a grown-up. I tried it and, for me, it was just really strange. I actually ended up throwing it out. Later on, I was given another one as a gift. It had this special little bit on it that would stimulate the clitoris while you had it inside you. That was pretty amazing. It changed my whole perception of vibrators. Once, I actually bought myself a really big dildo—purely out of curiosity. It wasn't that sexy; it was just massive."

"Vibrators don't really turn me on. I don't need to have something up inside me to cum. They can be quite funny when you use them with your partner, but my hand is more than enough when I'm alone. For some reason I always use my left hand, even though I'm actually right-handed. Not sure why. I don't think women have that same urgent need to cum as men do. But I have to admit that sometimes I really just need to. It's rare, but it happens. Often I do it in order to get rid of a certain fantasy that I'm having about someone, or whatever. Porn can be good—I usually watch things I wouldn't ever like to try myself. A lot of the time I just use my imagination. I like using the shower head, but it needs to be the right kind. When you find the right one, it's the greatest invention on the planet. How often I masturbate varies a lot. If I spend, let's say, an entire Saturday in bed, I might get at it three times. Sometimes, if I've had a stressful week, I don't do it at all."

"The first time I masturbated, it was actually unintentional. I was 11 years old and in a swimming pool with a friend. I didn't really get what happened but I became a really big fan of water afterwards. Showers, pools—basically all running water. Shower heads are definitely the way to go, but a few years back I got really paranoid that the constant jet of water would desensitize my vagina, so I gave it up. I love it, but I have no interest in having a paralyzed pussy. Today, I rely on my boring fingers. Usually, I think about things like roller skating on some cloud and then falling down onto a total stranger's dick—a guy who just so happened to be waiting there with a huge boner."

Mhmm, that's pretty damn sexy indeed!

You can read the rest of the female masturbation explanations at Vice!