We Need More Joan Smalls

We Should Have Access To A Topless Joan Smalls 24/7

I’m just going to go ahead and say it—we need more Joan Smalls. Yeah, yeah, I know she’s one of the highest-paid supermodels of our time, but we could really use more of her. No one should be going a single day without looking at Joan Smalls, especially when she’s topless.

Sure, she’s done advertising campaigns for Gucci, Chanel, Fendi, Calvin Klein, Lacoste, Gap, Ralph Lauren, Estée Lauder, Mercedes-Benz, Hugo Boss, Tiffany & Co., Stella McCartney, Versace, and Marc Jacobs, but that’s hardly enough. And I didn’t even list all the companies that are smart enough to plaster her beautiful face and body all over their advertisements. The point is, she needs to be everywhere, at all times. Joan Smalls, topless or not (but let’s go with topless) should probably the first thing we see in the morning and the last thing we see before we close our eyes. And once companies figure out how to broadcast commercials in our dreams, they'd better feature a topless Joan Smalls.

I find it hard to believe that every single company, charity, church, and presidential campaign doesn’t use a topless Joan Smalls in their advertising. I mean, come on, who doesn’t want to look at Joan Small’s boobs? If there is a person out there who doesn’t, their opinion is obviously wrong and we should ignore them.