Only in Florida: Unrequited Love

Next Time, Go With Flowers

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

When you find yourself feeling those butterflies in your chest for another person you can't help but express those feelings towards them in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, they feel the same way. We've all been there, whether by writing terrible poetry or playing hard to get, and when cupid's arrow hits your rear end it can make you do crazy things. But sometimes the love is only one way - it is unrequited love. And when you find yourself on the opposite end of unrequited love, it can be so painful you don't know what to do... Unless you are Florida resident David Scott Casciola who flashed a Goodwill employee after she didn't want to talk to him.

Instead of buying this woman flowers or surprising her with a picnic lunch, Mr. Casciola decided to express his feelings by showing off his twig and berries. Sadly, flashing a woman your genitals is actually not the best way to win someone over.

“He grabbed her,” said Lt. Mike Bandish of the Palm Bay Police Department. “Then he flashed her,” he said, adding that the incident was captured on a surveillance camera.

So the next time you find yourself pining for the love of someone who doesn't feel the same, try something other than flashing her in a Goodwill. Maybe do that John Cusack boombox playing Peter Gabriel trick.

Via Florida Today