Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Variations’ Leather Lover

The Chinese poet Li Tsian was the first (we know of) to extol the pleasures of leather as a marital aid over 3,000 years ago. "Shave from cow/Wrap hard pillow/Go nuts," he wrote, but in Chinese. This week's Test Kitchen device is almost ancient Chinese in its rustic simplicity, but carries a warning users from our millennium can appreciate: "Don't Put It In You."

Read our review after the gap.

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The way some people like uniforms, others like leather. Rayon, polyester, even denim do not have the cachet leather seems to command in the erotic landscape, so it should be no surprise that this Penthouse/Topco vibrator cozy is made of genuine leather.

Luckily, the leather slipcover actually comes with a vibrator so consumers don't get all worked up only to have to purchase something separately (though they will have to buy batteries, but they can disable their smoke alarms for that). The packaging is very clear in where to put this device, however. It is not to be used internally.

I called up dominatrix and Erotic Firecracker Aiden Starr, who is welcome to come over and model any of this gear at any time, to provide color commentary.

"So it's a vibrator and you slip this leather cover on - " I said.

"On the vibrator or on your cock?" she asked.

"No, it's a leather cover for the vibrator," I said.

"Ah, got it," she said. "Did you smell it?"

"The vibrator or my cock?" I asked (because, you know, I could).

"The leather," she said. I said I did. "Because leather fetishists are really adamant about that."

I said it really smelled like leather. She then mentioned that her clients were big into humping thigh-high leather boots, but her clients are mostly male, and the Leather Lover appears to be for Ladies.

"It sounds like a great toy to rub on your pussy," she said, "but it's not the type of thing you keep clean with water. Make sure you clean it with leather cleaner and then wipe all the leather cleaner off before you rub it on your parts."

The Leather Lover seems to be a toy for real purists. It is strap-on compatible, but I find it hard to believe that anyone who likes the feeling so much would want to stop at the outside. But stop you must.

· Buy Variations' Leather Lover (passionbunny.com)
· Topco (topcosales.us)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive