Wet Spots: The Continued Unexposure Of Paris Hilton

· We're flattered that E! News named us a go-to source (along with YouTube, even!) for all your Paris Hilton storage locker needs, but the sad truth is that aside from a few screencaps we had to rely on Google to find everything just like everyone else. (We did, however, use that "Paris Unxposed" line before E! did.) (eonline.com)

· Digital Playground begins the promotional juggernaut for "Pirates 2" with the online release of a teaser trailer that's notable for its complete absence of anything that would inform you it's the sequel to one of the most successful porn films of all time. If you get off on CGI thunder effects and pirate skeletons, however, you might still find something to jerk off to anyway. (digitalplayground.com; more @ AVN)

· Having a third nipple can be awkward, but a third nipple on the bottom of your foot? Sounds like a podophiliac's dream date—and look, Ma, no plastic! (dermatology.cdlib.org, via wfmu.org)

· The government goes after MySpace and Friendster ... again. Pretty soon all their only users will be government agents pretending to be teenagers. (xbiz.com)

· Drink enough vodka and the babes will come to you ... in your mind at least. We can see them already! (YouTube via shedwa.blogspot.com via adrants.com)

· A spammer targeted email marketer will pay a $465,000 fine to the Federal Trade Commission for not playing nicely on the web. Those pills they sent us didn't work, either. (ftc.gov)

· Why did Kelly Ripa cut this guy off? We're sure Regis really wanted to learn what "teabagging" is. (video @ Defamer)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives