Porn Valley Dispatch: The Pussy Splotch

I know what you're thinking: Is this some fabulous new disease I can get?

But the Pussy Splotch (or the Hootchie Blurb) is the far-from-industry-standard term for the obfuscating element applied to images of your favorite porn stars' privates, allowing your rigid moral code to be uncompromised and your sense of wonder to remain intact.

I talked with one of the porn world's top Splotch applicators, Jodi Marie. Her interview follows the gap. - GP

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Jodi Marie blurbed hootchies for Seymore Butts before getting a fat pussy splotching gig at Hustler. I called her when I saw her work on "Larrry Flynt's Private Collection 2" featuring Sunrise Adams.

"Those shapes look like the orbs spirit photographers capture when filming haunted houses," I said. "Do you always try to invest your boxcovers with a sense of the supernatural?"

"It depends on my mood, I guess," said Marie. "It depends on the feel of the cover picture and title, but I like asymmetrical shapes, something that contrasts the thing I'm covering."

"Yes, yes," I nodded vigorously on the phone. "Thus no triangles."

Marie noted with dismay the standard-issue starburst pussy splotch. "My personal choices get poo-pooed for some reason, " she said, "so people often resort to the overused starburst."

"If you had your druthers, what would you use to cover your genitals on boxcovers and/or in real life?" I asked.

"A mini funnel cake," she said.

"I'll be right over."

· Hustler (hustler.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive