Morning Wood

· Kid Rock says he married Pamela Anderson because she's great in bed and she says she married him because he's well hung. You mean it wasn't because of a shared interest in 18th century French literature? What a surprise. (tonight.co.za)

· Finally, a foolproof method for getting out jury duty: masturbate in the courthouse. Now why didn't we think of that? (nydailynews.com)

· K-9 units descend on a community clubhouse in Denver to take down three teens who broke in to look at porn on the internet. Come on, guys, that's what public libraries are for. (thedenverchannel.com)

· The Moscow News website has an update on the gay porn diplomatic scandal between Belarus and Latvia, complete with accompanying photo. Not pictured: any diplomats from Belarus or Latvia. (mosnews.com)

· A nursing student in England is so worried about her bosses learning of her porn career that she has no choice but to tell it to a tabloid that will blab her "secret" to the whole country and scandalize almost no one. If the nursing thing falls through, she'll make a great publicist. (people.co.uk)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives