Marital Aid Test Kitchen: 2-Tone Dual Delight

At first, we thought we had discovered a new drink at our local Polynesian restaurant, but the 2-Tone Dual Delight proved to be more intriguing than any Suffering Bastard or Dr. Funk. Indeed, it incorporated both penis types for a simple but memorable evening of Cyberskin atrocities.

Read more about the pink and the purple after the gap.
- G. Ponante

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After the previous week's experimentation we decided for a more "Appalachian Spring"-style marital aid test drive with fewer expectations of the user in her search to know the product.

The 2-Tone Dual Delight is an 11" double dong with approximately four inches of its surface area a pink and stubby penis-shaped prong and the remaining seven inches devoted to the former's purple-hued and tapered counterpart.

To effectively use both ends would require the skill of a drum majorette. I flipped through my yearbook and suggested calling several from my year, each of whom had been dismissed on moral grounds.

"They'd be really, really good," I said.

"No," I was told.

The packaging, featuring an underpanted Samantha Ryan, was no help in determining just the sort of gymnastics required for successful use of this product. It was clear, however, that use by two people at a time was out of the question.

"So am I supposed to switch sides or choose one for the duration?" I was asked, even the word 'duration' sounding filthy.

"Follow an eclectic model," I said.

Results were mixed. If the subjeect followed the prescribed formula, she would switch colors, protuberances, and widths just when things were getting interesting. If she stuck with just one end, then the 2-Tone Dual Delight would seem ultimately wasteful.

Finally, a solution presented itself.

"It's so bendy, the sides compensate for each other," I was told. "I might use the other end tomorrow."

"Experiment over," I said.

· 2-Tone Dual Delight (adameve.com)

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Previously in the MATK: 5-in-1 Finger Vibes, Pleasure Pearl Masturbator, Rabbit Rider, The G-Spot Hot Handle, Heavy Love Balls, Pink Indulgence Massage Wand, Porn Valley Dispatch Archive