Porn Valley Dispatch: Britney Rears Redux

Britney Rears is like porn's version of The Monkees ... without that pesky old Neil Diamond hanging around, eating stuff.

A double confection ("Britney Rears" was once the porn performer "Jessica Sweet"), Rears is a lip-synching, fellating pop-tart concoction of adult publicity company All Media Play, and her second movie is coming out in April. After the gap, enter through the Rears. - G. Ponante

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I had so much fun making this second movie,
shrieked Britney as she bit into a sandwich at a fashionable West Hollywood eatery.

This sort of line is a hallmark of AllMediaPlay's press releases, penned by Jeff Mullen, an industry veteran with roots in music production and promotion. Mullen co-wrote the Rears song "I Wanna Get Laid" and orchestrated the campaign that nearly toppled "Mary Carey's Dinner with President Bush" for AVN's marketing award this year.

In fact, the onslaught of the marketing is so fierce that one forgets if the original movie was good or not. (Ed. note: It wasn't.) Rears and Sunny Lane (who is also in "Rears 2") emerged as non-pornish girls-next-door last year in the same way Joanna Angel did, but with a different kind of hype and taste in footwear.

Whether this will be the year for Slutty Fashion Bug Clerks in the wake of the inevitable StevePorn backlash, or whether porn will snap back to Houston and Pamela Peaks remains to be seen. Perhaps we might even see the triumph of Blowjob Robots! We can only hope.

· "Britney Rears 2" (trailer @ allmediaplay.com)
· Britney Rears (britneyrears.com)

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Previously: DVD: "Britney Rears' Wild Backstage Party", Porn Valley Dispatch Archive