Best of Sex Advice

When I was a kid, I remember one of my friends asking me how gay guys did it. I told him that one guy put his penis in the other guy's ear ("Where else would they put it?", I said, backing up my argument with irrefutable logic.) Of course, I had no inkling at the time about the far reaching effects this sort of disinformation could have on an impressionable mind; wherever (and whoever) he is, this guy probably still hates me for being full of shit. I just hope he cleared things up before anyone's ear drum got punctured.

Nowadays, of course, we have the internet and its countless sex advice columnists to explain everything for us. Read some of what they're telling impressionable minds after the jump.A. Tolesco

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askkrista.com, Ask Krista:
I have visited your site today as i have some question. I am a boy from india & soon going to marry. I want to ask that my wifes vagina is very dark in colour & the rest part of her body is very fair. Please provide us your suggestion to lighten the colour of her vagina.

Can she use bleach at vaginal part?

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AskEmilyAnything.com, Ask Emily:
1) Do you know any exercise methods to make my penis bigger? 2) Does size matter to you? 3) Do you have any info on how to become a porn star?

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The Sexuality Forum, Ask Isadora:
I've seen so much about small penises, but what about women with small vaginas? Nobody ever talks about this problem. I thought I was a freak for most of my life because sexual intercourse was painful for me. This impacted severely on my ability to have relationships, as you can imagine. During the "liberated" 60s and 70's, a girl who didn't want to fuck was a "frigid bitch". Professionals didn't help: I went to a gynecologist who told me that "there's room enough in there for the whole football team." It was only after my divorce that I learned that there were other ways of satisfaction and met guys who were patient, tolerant and willing to help me "practice". But I still hope that when I meet the right man, he has a small dick!

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Time Out New York, Get Naked:
Ever since a recent colonoscopy, I
ve become obsessed with the deep pleasure that a high colonic can provide. I
ve improvised a shower device using a turkey baster and some rubber hosing that works quite well, provided your sphincter
s in good shape. While my orgasms have taken on a new and astonishing power, I find myself disinterested in what had been my regular sexual pursuits. Although I
ve opted for full disclosure, my girlfriend is dismayed, our sex has become lackluster, and the tub of bleaching instruments on the bathroom floor is a bit of an eyesore.

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LoveAdvice.com, Ask Dr. Tracy:
...He's black, I'm white. Although my parents aren't prejudiced, they are narrow-minded... They have told me since I was young that people shouldn't marry out of their race. I, on the other hand, feel that if you find someone you click with and love with all your heart, race doesn't matter. I have told my parents that you can't help who your heart loves. I'm currently dating the neighbor who lives across the street. He's 40 and white, and my parents have known him for 8 years. He is terrific and treats me great and my parents want me to marry him. He's a confirmed bachelor, and has told me many times that he loves me, but will never marry me. I'm fine with that, knowing that one day soon I will marry Scott. I have told Jeff that some day I want to be married and I will let him know when that time comes. (Scott knows that Jeff and I date) Even if Jeff proposed, I would say "No" because our views are so opposite in so many things. Scott and I share the same views about children (I have 3, he has 2), money, and so much more. I'm so sorry this is so long, but I really need to know how to tell my parents, when the time comes, that I'll be marrying out of my race.

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links2love.com, Dear Dr. TRuth:
I met this girl on the Internet I am afraid she won't like me when we meet.
I have seen pics of her but because I don't have a scanner she hasn't seen any of me. I think she is quite beautiful and I am sure most people would agree.
I am not an attractive guy and the only people who think I am are my family members so I tend not to believe them. I am 18 and have had only two girlfriends both of which were only with me because of other circumstances and not because I was good looking. I know you might think I just solved my own problem but those two times where different. Trust me, I could stand to loose a few pounds, I am as pale a piece of paper, I don't have many good features, plus I am inexperienced.
We have talked a lot on an instant messenger and she seems to like me and we flirt a little but that is over the computer. I really want her to like me. Its not that I think she is an unkind person and only cares about looks, but I think looks are a factor in any relationship. We seem compatible on many levels except for that one...

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Andrea Nemerson, alt.sex.column:
I'm a singer and like to have rough oral sex with other guys and I was wondering if it could damage or change my voice? You said once that the larynx is a long way away out of reach of a penis, but is this the main part of the voice? I don't really know how the voice works, but I do know that someone tried to strangle me once and my voice took a couple of years to be as smooth again.

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Literotica.com, Ask Aspasia Fern:
My latest lover mentioned that swallowing cum results in throat soreness. As of yet, she has not swallowed mine nor even let me finish in her mouth. Is there anything I can do to keep this soreness to a minimum through my diet or otherwise?
By the way, she is also the absolute perfection of deep throat. A new experience for me. Many have tried, none until now have succeeded. And I'm not THAT large.

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Maxim Online, Ask the Sexpert:
But until someone invents a fast and fabulous
Hickey B-Gone
balm, why not consider prevention the best cure; tell Helen Hoover to ease up on the suction action and perhaps suggest that she refine her technique on other, less visible parts of your body.

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Dear Amy, Sex Advice for the Modern Player:
If you
re like most of the gay boys I know, you
ll be able to fuck him and move on. However, your use of the word
negotiate
leads me to believe that you
re not like them; you
re unique and special. (Not that gay men are incapable of negotiating
it
s just that the language used is
different.)
Onward. How can you tell if he likes you? Here are some investigative techniques for you to use:
1. Next time you take a shower, leave the door open. Does he walk in? Does he check you out while pretending to brush his teeth or pee? These are signs he may be attracted to you. (Does he ask you to keep the door closed in the future? Be a polite roommate and do as you
re asked.)
2. Jerk off on the living room couch at a time when you know he
s going to come in to watch tv. Apologize profusely when you
re
discovered.
Does he seem aroused, or just annoyed? If he
s annoyed, don
t ever do it again. But if he
s aroused, hey