2005: The Year In Breasts

December 30, 2005
JONNOBOT

We have a lot of reasons to want to put 2005 to bed and forget about it once and for all ... but since we always like to look on the bright side of things, we thought we'd round up some of our favorite examples of the things that kept us afloat during the last twelve months here at Fleshbot. In more ways than one.

Join us for our year-end breastacular after the jump.

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2005 AVN Awards Fashion Roundup
Once we returned from last year's AVN Expo and recuperated from our Vegas hangovers, we got together with the Village Voice's Tristan Taormino for a post-AVN Awards red carpet fashion roundup, which was a veritable constellation of professional-grade breast exposure. (And no, we never did get around to captioning those photos.)
Thumbnail star: Lanny Barbie

Ugly Breast Implants
We're sure most of the actresses we featured are actually very lovely people. And since we like to think of ourselves as nice pornographers, we'll let the folks at Ugly Breast Implants help lighten the load on Awful Plastic Surgery's already strained shoulders and get all bitchy on these terrifying breast enhancement surgeries that never should have seen the light of day.

Tawny Peaks' Implants on eBay
We were waiting for that whole trend of people selling their body parts on eBay to, er, peak, but we didn't think it would do so quite like this: we'll let you read the Reuters account of why former stripper, Playboy model, and "People's Court" defendant Tawny Peaks is selling one of her size 69-HH implants while we regret not having been able to scrounge up $14,000 before the auction ended. (Hey, it would've made a killer paperweight or something. Literally.)

Big Breast Expansion Archive
As you may have figured out by now, we're not usually fans of fake boobs here at Fleshbot—that is, unless said enhancements are of the non-invasive-surgery variety you'll find at the staggeringly plentiful Breast Expansion Archive. In addition to the EEE-sized members' area, there's more than just a few handfuls of free content, including links galore to explicit photo and art galleries, erotic breast enhancement stories, and personal big boob fansites.

Milk Tank
We're generally non-violent types, but we probably wouldn't have a choice enlisting in the Milk Tank squadron if these hyperendowed anime gals ever came knocking on our door. We're not sure exactly what it is they're fighting for, but with all those bulging breasts and corpulent cameltoes that seem to be standard-issue in whatever army they're fighting in, maybe sticking to our pacifist ideals would be besides the point anyway.
See also: Japanese Big-Boob T-Girl Art

Boob Grant
We had to admit a grudging admiration for the fundraising techniques employed by the hopefuls at Boob Grant (including hardcore hottie Alana Evans) to pay for their breast enhancement surgeries: a tiered donation structure will give you access to a variety of increasingly explicit photosets featuring the models you contribute to depending how much you cough up, as well as signed personal items and invitations to meet them in person at various "promotional events". We still think nature is best left alone in most cases, but at least it's good to see that a certain kind of entrepreneurial spirit is still alive and well.

DVD: "Busty Cops 3"
We always knew there was something about Hannah Harper that set her apart from the rest of the porn crowd, but who knew it was her crime fighting boobs? At least that's what we were told in the press release for "Busty Cops 2", the star-filled story of "three big-breasted beauties that readily combat injustice and wrongdoing with time travel and their enormous breasts".

Flickr Boobie Blog
The importance of Flickr in the world of amateur boob watching in 2005 cannot be overstated, and this was the first (and one of the best) examples of the many Flickr-powered babelogs that popped up over the course of the year.

The Megamamma-mmmonastery
We're so used to having our intelligence insulted by shills for porn sites that it was as a pleasant surprise to come across St. Stephan's erudite introduction to his ginormous archive of nicely done big breast morphs at the Breast Expansion Archive; true, most of the links will direct you to the signup page, but hey—populus vult decipi ergo decipiatur, right?

Luba: The Video
We have to admit that she's not exactly what we'd call a natural where dancing is concerned, but it's good to be reminded once again that Luba is an actual person and not some spookily lifelike Eastern European sex automaton. We had our doubts for a while.

Absolut Natural
Given our general distaste for artifical supplements when it comes to the female form, we're fairly drunk on this collection of natural-breasted beauties: we recommend soaking up all the wholesomeness that you can before a certain Scandinavian liquor company either rips off the idea and starts marketing an additive-free organic vodka themselves and/or serves a cease and desist notice for copyright violation on the curator.

Hooter Shooters
Sometimes an idea comes along that's so completely brilliant—yet so dazzling in its technological simplicity—that we wonder why no one's thought of it before*. We don't know who the inventive genius is behind this "fully functional set of wearable breasts that dispense one shot of alcohol out of each nipple", but we do know we'd love to buy him a drink someday for combining two of our favorite obsessions in one convenient package.

Mariah Carey Breast Update
Spin control or source of crushing disappointment to celebrity breast observers worldwide? According to a "clarification" posted at Mariah Daily ("one of the largest and most visited Mariah Carey fan sites on the internet!", in case you didn't know), this year's most high profile wardrobe malfunction hysteria was just one big misunderstanding.

The Overflowing Bra
Like many of you, we'll admit to having the occasional boob-related daydream every now and then—but few things we've thought of can match the products of the supremely stretched imaginations who've contributed to the archives of The Overflowing Bra, where you'll find all sorts of stories and discussions dedicated to mammoth mammaries and enough breast expansion (BE) fetish material to give any engineering student (or physics major) a mental workout.

Time 4 Boobs
There's no end to the things we do to fill up our days here at Fleshbot Central—cataloguing our smut collection and trying out various combinations of alcohol and prescription drugs among them—but one thing we always have time for is boobs, which is why this site bursting at the seams with all-natural, retro, and "enhanced" big breast photos and on-demand videos was a welcome discovery.
See also: Say It With Boobs

Boobs 4 Bourbon Street
In ordinary times, the concept of more boobs for Bourbon Street would be like sending coal to Newcastle or silicone to Porn Valley. But these aren't ordinary times ... and besides, is there such a thing as too many boobs, especially if you get to ogle them for charity?

Celebrity NippleWatch™: Mischa Barton on "The O.C."
All in all it was a disappointing year for celebrity breast sightings, but Mischa Barton's apparent nip slip on an episode of "The O.C." was notable if only for the fact that no one but a select handful of breast fanatics (ourselves included) seemed to notice it.
See also: Kate Moss Gone Wild, Fleur Delacour Topless, Lindsay Lohan on Jay Leno

Breast Enhancement Simulator
From a plastic surgeon's site in Japan, the Flash doohickey will allow you to set your "before" cup size, add up to 500ccs of saline solution, and preview the results from three different angles. Sure, the rest of the site is entirely in Japanese ... but we promise you'll have enough fun just clicking around not to notice.