Morning Wood

If things seem a little different around here the next few days, it's because we've decided to take a brief respite and leave Fleshbot in the sticky yet capable hands of our Drunken Stepfather Jesus Martinez, who informed us that he "hasn't had an erection in five years" when he sent us this selection of posts for today's Morning Wood link roundup. We think that's called "irony" or something.

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· If you're already sick of seeing Paris Hilton's Carl's Jr. ad, maybe it's time to start drooling over her while she sells something for some German company instead? (laxtime.com; see also QuickTime video @ goyellow.de, via GoldenFiddle)

· I never actually watch TV, and it would be stupid for me to say that I am going to start now that I have seen some screenshots of some Australian chicks naked and showering from a TV show where they lock you in a house and make you shower together. But then again, I might. (orsm.net)

· Our long national nightmare is over: blue drape covering a Justice Department statue's tits has been removed after three years. (Salon - thanks Tyler)

· Underwater sex is a pretty hot concept, but I don't suggest you try it at the local pool while they are conducting swimming classes. That's the kind of shit that will get you arrested. (sexy-trip.com)

· I wasn't invited to InternetModelPalooza this year, despite my "model" internet behavior. People like me who try to pick up women in chatrooms deserve more love than we get. (freepornstarpix.com; more photos here)

· I don't have much to say about the fact that John Waters is curating a selection of Andy Warhol's "Porn", other than both of these cats are sexy—something I rarely say that about men, unless they are in skirts, which I have a weakness for. (warhol.org)

· The concept of the digital camera makes me laugh. Everyone who has one thinks their lives are important enough to document, but all we end up doing is taking pictures of our girlfriends naked. I am not complaining. (latest update @ formergirlfriends.com)

· Some dude got arrested for taking his foot fetish to the next level by kidnapping a girl and taking pictures of her in knee-high boots. (thelouisvillechannel.com)

· A Malaysian man may be facing 20 years in jail for having "unnatural fetish sex" with his wife. Dude, anal's not a fetish anymore—get with the motherfucking program! (thestar.com.my)

· Even people who play useless sports like cricket get caught up in sex scandals. (telegraph.co.uk)

· "Fleshbot", "Vagina","Backdoor Betty" ... and more spelling fun with Flickr. (metaatem.net)-J. Martinez

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives / Wet Spots Archives