Morning Wood

· We'd like nothing better than to kick off your week with a photo of Mischa Barton topless; unfortunately, Mischa Barton "toploose" was the best we could come up with. Sorry. (dontlinkthis.com)

· "I came here because this guy told me (it's) is an interesting place and has many beautiful girls. It's great," says one male patron of the first Hooters in China. We just go there for the chicken wings ourselves. (Asian Sex Gazette)

· Ladies: chew your way to bigger breasts with this amazing new Japanese product! What will they think of next? (sexblo.gs)

· Anyone who says money can buy happiness obviously hasn't been having enough sex. (azcentral.com)

· We're less interested in what CNN has to say in this article than the fact that they chose to illustrate it with a shot of Nicole Kidman's nipple. Sex may not sell in the movies, but it sure helps to push the news! (CNN - thanks Jeff)

· Not only does disgraced fake reporter and gay pinup wannabe Jeff Gannon get his Einstein and Freud confused in this New York Times interview, he manages to screw up his Andy Warhol references as well: "At some point in the future, everyone is going to have a picture on the Internet that they are unhappy about." (NY Times, via Wonkette)

· Since we finally managed to get that "touch my ass and balls" soundbite out of our heads, maybe we shouldn't have started our day by listening to this voicemail message by a "coked n horny" Pat O'Brien. Where's that Mischa Barton link again? (Screenhead)