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Only in Florida: We Didn’t Start The Fire

EDITORIAL FEATURES

Can't A Guy Wack It By The Window?

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

Crimes of passion can sometimes be the worst type of crime. When you are so consumed that you're not thinking straight, the world is blurry, the only emotion you feel is the white hot anger of passion. And while crime is no laughing matter there are some crimes that full of passion with a touch of humor. Take one particular Florida Man who's passion was burning so hot he set his apartment on fire.

Yes, Mr. Kenneth Haskins of Tampa Bay was so enraged that the only way he could let his feelings be known was by burning all his things. What set the passion ablaze you might be asking. Was he a jilted lover? Did he get conned by someone online? Alas, no. Management at the apartment complex where he lived asked him to stop masturbating with his windows and doors wide open. Of course, no word if Mr. Haskins was actually upset because he couldn't find any curtains that matched his rug. That can be very frustrating as well.

Mr. Haskins was arrested. I'm not sure if management admitted how they "got owned" by Mr. Haskins setting his stuff on fire, but I'm sure they were. Hey, we all love a little pocket pool from now and again, but do it alone or with someone else who gave you the okay.

via The Tampa Bay Times


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