We Tried the Autoblow – The Most Sophisticated Blowjob Robot on the Planet!

I think they missed an opportunity to call it the “Blowbot”, but……….

These days we’ve got robot everything-- vacuums, pet feeders, hell, robots even perform surgery, so the time is right for a blowjob robot to be a thing! This thing is truly an epic piece of engineering. The people who created this literally wrote an academic white paper about blowjobs, the data from which helped them develop this device. They did science to it, folks! I was very excited to recruit a penis-equipped tester and give this baby a whirl!

Unboxing the Autoblow AI+ which is the top of the line machine from this company, you’ve got your machine first of all. A three pound, space age looking piece of equipment that holds the motor and controls and a clear chamber where you can see the sleeve where the cock goes. There’s also going to be a seemingly random rectangular piece of plastic wrapped in plastic film. Don’t throw it out. It’s for getting the sleeve back into its holder after cleaning it, which you should definitely do after every ejaculation. There’s also an instruction booklet, which you should read. There is an adjustable collar on the sleeve which can be adjusted for the girth of the penis by using a screwdriver inserted in the top for adjustment, like this picture below, making it somewhat custom-fitted.

You shouldn’t have any reason other than that to use tools on the machine or take it apart. I found it both amusing and sad that it needed to carry a warning label saying not to use the machine without the sleeve. But in a world where people put their penises in vacuum cleaners I guess they needed to cover their asses. Really, don’t put your dick in a powerful machine without shielding around it. There are easier ways to get sterilized and not get a Darwin award. Also, USE LUBE. I don’t care if you don’t use it when manually jerking off, this is a very different, er, ball game. Use a water based lube because the sleeve is made of silicone and silicone lube and silicone toys don’t mix. Autoblow sells a lube for this purpose, but there’s many different kinds to choose from depending on your taste. Autoblow can be used just on its own in offline mode, but it’s also an app toy. The process is a bit roundabout because the company elected not to censor their app so it can be in the Apple or Google app stores, so it’s a web-based app where you need to do a few simple steps to get the toy and your device (smartphone, tablet, or computer) to talk to each other. Once you’ve got that done, you can download new blowjob programs, create your own, control the toy with limited voice commands, and give someone remote control access to control the toy. My tester and I had some fun with the different settings and speeds and using it for edging. He said it felt quite realistic and was quite a close substitute when the real thing was not available.

I found the pros of this product to be many-- the unparalleled engineering work, the variety of actions it can perform, and the high grade industrial motor that is actually remarkably quiet! It's rather disturbingly close to the real thing and provides a great variety of sensation. This is a product that retails for $300, and it definitely feels worth that price tag and like it will last awhile, even if the sleeves will wear out.  It does have some cons as well. It only operates using a wall adapter, which is likely due to the sheer amount of power this thing’s motor has. So you can’t take it camping unless you’ve got a power inverter like you would use for a CPAP machine or the like, and you can’t entertain yourself during a power outage with it. I don’t know why you would want to lug this camping, but roughing it with a manual stroker or good ol’ Rosie Palmer are likely less bothersome. I found it somewhat fiddly to get the sleeve in and out, even with the included tool. Also the machine is rather heavy and a bit awkward to hold, as my tester remarked, but you don’t have to hold it. You can hump it or arrange it other ways, and the cord is pretty long. Also, I always say a great blowjob doesn’t neglect the balls and it’s hard to do anything to your balls with the Autoblow, but you’ll have to handle them yourself. Maybe wear a butt plug too if that’s your pleasure!

The Autoblow website has everything you need in terms of customer support and purchasing the machine as well as replacement parts and accessories. You can replace the sleeve, get a discreet carrying case, and even pick up some lube and cleaning supplies right on their site. Keep an eye out for sales and promotions!

Go forth and merrily blow yourself!