Ancient Advice on Marriage is Still Appropriate

Ancient advice on marriage to young ladies has been recently published online. It’s crazy to think about how the world changes so quickly that we can’t keep up with new technologies, but people and human relationships barely ever change. The advice on marriage given by a suffragette wife in the early 1900s is still relevant and applicable today.

A suffragette was a woman seeking the right to vote through organized protest. The term “suffrage” actually doesn’t have anything to do with suffering. It derives from the Latin word “suffragium,” meaning the right or privilege to vote. During the woman suffrage movement in the United States, suffragists were anyone who supported extending the right to vote to women.

However, in the US, the term suffragette:

“…was considered offensive or derogatory. It described those who embraced more militant tactics rather than the more passive suffragists who relied on education and petitioning government officials.”

Disobedient women in Britain and the United States took control of the narrative and embraced the term used to mock them. They were unruly protesters and were proud of it. They were the suffragettes, and this was their advice on marriage to young ladies:

1. Do not marry at all.
2. But if you must avoid the Beauty Men, Flirts, and the Bounders, Tailor’s Dummies, and the Football Enthusiasts.
3. Look for a Strong, Tame Man, a Fire-lighter, Coal-getter, Window Cleaner, and Yard Swiller.
4. Don’t except too much, most men are lazy, selfish, thoughtless, lying, drunken, clumsy, heavy-footed, rough, unmanly brutes, and need taming.
5. All Bachelors are, and many are worse still.
6. If you want him to be happy, Feed the Brute.
7. The same remark applies to Dogs.
8. You will be wiser not to chance it, it isn’t worth the risk.

-A SUFFRAGETTE WIFE

I must admit that I’ve read this a hundred times. And I laugh harder every time. It is incredible how fast everything changes while we evolve very slowly. One thing that has definitely changed is the traditional gender roles. We all ­­know they haven’t changed enough and still cause pain, misunderstanding, and discrimination, but that discussion isn’t on today’s menu.

I feel comfortable saying that ALL of these points apply to both men and women in the 21^st century. It’s been over 100 years, but couple relationships seem to have the same type of problems.  It’s precious advice on marriage!

I got married after noticing same-sex couples' lack of rights in this country, but had I not been afraid, I wouldn’t have gotten married. And I agree. Avoid marriage if you can.

If you must marry, avoid disrespectful narcissists.

Look for a partner who contributes to your marriage and society positively.

Don’t have high expectations because you will be disappointed.

People are disappointing.

If you want a happy life, feed your partner.

Feed your dog too. It will be nicer.

Don’t risk it. Not worth it.

I am incredibly lucky, but I’m going to keep this marriage advice in mind. Things often get complicated in relationships because of the shit that happens daily in our lives. Watch porn with your lover, be kinky, and be happy.