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No one

XCRITIC

is as amused by my life as I am.

I made cookies today, and didn't take pictures. Actually, I did take a couple of pictures of my kitchen pre-cookie baking disaster, only so during the days before I clean the flour off of everything I can remember what it looked like.

8 hours of baking. Tomorrow I wander around to everyone within walk/busing distance to try and get rid of them. I don't really like to eat cookies, just make them.

Yesterday a man came to my apartment because he thought he had this intense desire to get whipped. I told him to bring a vacuum. He got all scared and thought I was going to put it in his butt.

NO, I don't want to put a vacuum in someone's ass. I want them to put it on the FLOOR and use it to VACUUM with.

Fucking idiots. So he finally does show up, freaks out because there's someone (the aforementioned pretty boy) sitting on my bed doing techy things on his laptop. He informs me he's no longer interested in playing (which is fine by me. I don't go for subs that aren't really subby, you know?) and then asks if I'd like to borrow his vacuum.

What good is a vacuum to me without someone to use it?


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