Dear BitLife: This Is NOT Acceptable

When I first stepped up as CMO of CamBased.com, I knew that I had a goal in mind. One of the goals that I insisted upon was making sure that we worked to reduce the stigma that all sex workers face—porn stars, camgirls, fetish workers, and more. 

This is something that’s a personal matter to me. When I was in college, I was treated in an extremely cruel manner by both men and women due to my sexuality. It was brutal, and eventually, it culminated in me dropping college altogether due to extreme depression. 

No one deserves to be treated that way. 

As I grew older, I watched society evolve. The sex stigma is still there, but it’s nowhere near the levels that I remember in school. We have the woke, sex-positive movement to thank for that. Despite the positive moves we all have seen, there’s still a lot of blowback and we still have a long, long way to go. 

Once in a while, I’ll see something misogynistic or slut-shamey, and I’ll call them out. But, it’s rare to actually see something that deserves a full article on it. Sadly, the popular app game known as BitLife is the culprit here. 

BitLife isn’t a game I’ve played, but it is a game that’s extremely popular among younger people. It also has an option that lets you choose “Pornographer” as your vocation, so it’s not exactly a game I expected to see lash out at the cam community. And yet, I was forwarded this screenshot from a friend...

That’s right. Apparently, you can assault and divorce your cam model wife for having a job. How progressive, right? It’s not as if people tend to internalize what’s socially acceptable through media, right? Oh wait…

BitLife, we get it. You try to be edgy and cool. You try to offer some options that are just out of left field. But this? This isn’t right. This isn’t cool. This isn’t funny. This is condoning actions that cause cam models and porn stars to lose their lives EVERY YEAR.

Studies show that models, adult or otherwise, are the workers who are most likely to die from relationship abuse. Studies also show that stigma-related depression is rife among our communities. And somehow, BitLife seems okay with this, though, judging by that screenshot. 

Many models live in fear of stalkers, harassment, and exposure. Despite this, they choose to share their most intimate acts and work to help peoples’ fantasies come alive. They work to make sure others don’t feel alone. They often act as therapists, friends, and confidantes for fans. 

And yet, somehow, mainstream media wants to crucify them for it. They are constantly judged. They face dangerous situations every day. For them, porn is a passion and a way to express themselves. But, don’t tell BitLife that. To them, it’s “cheating,” and deserves to be punished. Or maybe, more bluntly, they seem to think that a woman who is sexual should be punished? That's what this is all about, right?

I don’t know what else to say here. That I’m disappointed? That I’m angry? Or worse, that I somehow had a feeling that we were past this?  Or that I had a feeling that people still haven’t gotten the memo about performers being human beings worthy of respect? 

When I do my work to promote my site, I make an effort to reduce stigma and promote a healthy attitude towards sexuality. This kind of stuff only makes me realize how much more I have to do. I wish I could talk to the programmers behind BitLife's game, and ask them what they would want their daughter to experience if they were a camgirl married to someone. Would that change what they think is okay?