The Battlefield of Beauty That is Men’s Hair

Is it More “Manly” to Keep it Short or Grow it Long?

There have been and continue to be many battlefields, and most of them are located on the human body. Whether it’s a deity or a principality, there’s always been someone with an opinion about how we should look and an enthusiastic willingness to use moral arguments to defend their usually indefensible point.

Women in pants? Men in pants? Facial hair? No facial hair? Long hemlines for women? Short hemlines for everyone? Full-figured gals? Rail thin women? Short hair on men? Long hair on men? What’s in fashion today and who’s decided it’s immoral?

We’re all familiar with the way society and religion have policed women’s clothing and conduct over the centuries. But what about men? It’s easy to pretend that what we in the U.S. of fuckin’ A. call masculinity is some kind of universal standard, but it ain’t necessarily so.

Whether out of practicality or pride, men have historically expressed their masculinity with a variety of hair lengths and styles. It was as recent as the 20^th century that anything resembling an international consensus on male business hair became a thing. And it’s been challenged time and time again by individualistic men who march to the tune of a different barber, particularly men of color.

The ancients were all over the map when it came to hair. Egyptian men often shaved their heads and wore wigs because it was so goddamn hot. The Romans found that their warrior class did a lot better with short hair since it discouraged bugs and was easy to maintain. It was barbarians who grew their hair long, not civilized Romans. Those sexy, sexy barbarians.

Yet Samson lost his strength when Delilah cut his hair, and ancient Greeks associated short hair with slaves. If you bother to reference cultures outside of the traditional high school Western Civilizations class, you’ll find that many global peoples have felt that longer hair symbolizes health and virility. A lion’s mane of sorts. A visible expression of their masculinity and pride. In some cases, long hair often kept hidden, is a sign of personal humility and reverence for their deity of choice.

Many Native American tribes consider long hair to be nearly sacred. The longer the hair of a man, the more beautiful he is perceived to be. Alas, extreme pressure to blend in with white people as well as survive their brutish methods of enforcing the often mandatory social construct has made it difficult for Native people to maintain their traditions.

Hair was considered a familial legacy by the Chinese and having it cut was the price one paid for some crimes. Those days passed during the early 17^th century when all men were ordered to adopt a long braid down their backs. Mid-century, politics changed, and the queues were ordered removed under penalty of death. Sadly, this is a globally familiar method of forcing servitude or hardship on others. Because people are basically idiots, immigrants to the U.S. who escaped from this and maintained their long braids were assumed to be poor because only women during the early 20^th century were permitted long hair.

African-Americans who refused to conform to white hair standards during the late 60s and 70s eschewed hair straightening products and let their locks grow long, forming dreads or Afros. To this day, black employees fight HR departments for the right to wear their hair as it naturally grows.

Fortunately, society is starting to become less Eurocentric, and the powerful sex magic contained within long hair is returning to the heads of men who can grow it. It’s still seen as a radical act for white men to wear their hair below their ears, although, if well-tended, society can forgive shoulder-length hair. If a man is especially sexy by modern or mythic standards (think Fabio), he can grow it even longer.

This is all good news for trichophiliacs such as my esteemed self. While some men look great with a shaved or naturally nude head, while others attract the desired sex with their well-kempt short cuts, some faces simply radiate anima when circled by a crown and cascade of long hair. In addition to being visually stunning, long hair is a delight to touch. There is something both sweet and savagely romantic about a fist filled with hair; a head pulled firmly back; and kisses, nibbles, and bites generously applied to the neck.

Then there are all the bondage possibilities for the accomplished braid rigger if a long-haired man wants to be restrained in a creative fashion. And the braids themselves! So many options for practical and ornamental coiffing. And the stroking, winding around fingers, and flirting possibilities are nearly endless.

It’s obvious to me why mainstream religion has such a hard time dealing with men whose hair is longer than a missionary’s. When well-kept, long hair is sexy as hell. And we know that sex done right is pleasurable and pleasure is a sin, so those long-haired men are guilty of luring helpless women such as me into spiritual peril.

Bring it on.