Sexy Celebs Spice Up Life with Hot Sauce Challenges – Round 7

For many of us, it’s cold out there! The temperatures just keep dropping. There’s chilling rain, snow, and tornados. It is Winter in the Northern Hemisphere. It is time to find something spicy hot to eat and immediately regret it. Facilitating this in a safely voyeuristic way is Sean Evans, the host of Hot Ones. Four mainstream female celebrities will find out when their tongue, throat, and nasal passages call out their safeword while sampling 10 levels of hot sauce-covered chicken wings. Throughout it all, Evans eats his own spicy wings and asks questions that will make you laugh and make you think. The seventh entry into the Hot Sauce Challenge can be found here:

Demi Moore

All hail Demi Moore! Not only is she an example of a gorgeous “older woman” but she is a vegan who barely registers spice on her tongue and the back of her throat. Instead of a chicken dying for her meal, it’s heads of cauliflower slathered in a dozen different and varyingly flavored hot sauces. The woman is a three-time Golden Globe nominated actress, so maybe she’s faking it, but one after another supposedly “hot” sauce earns a good-natured “eh” from her.

Host Sean Evans is clearly suffering from sauce number 10. Guest Demi Moore observes that “it’s spicy.” Feeling that she should expound, she follows with “it’s just kind of ugly. I mean, it’s not a nice one.” Does she disassociate? Scorpion pepper barely gets a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, it’s nice. It’s all right.” Moore knows her spices, which may be related to her vegan cooking, so when she says, “this is like baby shit,” she means it. It’s her birthday, so after she gives the final sauce a “meh,” she is presented with an ice cream cake. Not actual ice cream, I assume. It’s not exactly vegan approved.

Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence is so beautiful, so talented, so witty, so tortured, and so ultimately triumphant during this episode of Hot Ones that she deserves a second write-up. Confession Time: I had forgotten that she appeared in the virgin voyage of this series. Check out John Boy’s take on the courageous blonde who says right out of the box that she doesn’t “have much of a pain tolerance.”

Despite her apprehension, she kicks ass and puts on an emotive show while she does it. While chatting about her career and celebrity friends in a delightful way between sips or gulps of cool, Lawrence moves from “that’s tasty. I would call it a one” to sexy sounding observations like “the flavor is great. I love how sticky it is” to “she’s warm and she’s warming up! She’s building.” She observes that she can feel the heat in her gums and between her teeth.

Next up, she reviews a sauce with a simple “Oh, good heavens. Oh, my God” as she fans her face, sounds pained, sobs, gasps for air, gulps down water from both a cup and a pitcher. She’s still sobbing and laughing as she approaches the ninth wing. After praising Will Ferrel, she cries out, “I feel like I’m going to die!” and sobs into her napkin. Then she picks up a bottle of sauce and throws it on the floor. Host Sean Evans recommends she stay away from the final sauce, but she goes for the gold. “I actually feel better,” she remarks and laughs. Revenge is spicy.

Rosé

OMG! I am suddenly fascinated by South Korean girl bands, BLACKPINK in particular. Rosé was crafted by nature using all that is poised and cute cute cute from South Korea and New Zealand. Her accent is subtle and refined. Her looks are deceptively sunny and sweet. Her words and stories are emo. Thanks to familiarity with spices due to her Korean gustatory heritage, she is cautiously optimistic that she will suffer and survive. This may fuel her with creativity that results in a vulnerable blockbuster K-Pop song. Hot Ones host Sean Evans hopes so, but she seems politely unconvinced. After a toast in Korean, the spicy wing eating begins. “Not spicy at all. Cute. Very cute,” she observes before teaching Evans a Korean drinking game. As the flavors and heat intensities vary, 27-year-old Rosé realizes that the “kick” happens later in the eating process for her. Evans peaks early. Make of that what you will.

The hard-working, yet empathetic Euterpean muse frets because the first four wings haven’t been a challenge. After exchanging childhood dog stories, Rosé has an announcement. “Ok. I feel it.” Suddenly, it’s napkin to sniffly nose time as she wonders aloud if this is what happens when you eat something really spicy. By the seventh wing, she no longer cares. “I’m starting to enjoy it now. Am I crazy,” she asks as she continues to nosh. When wing eight arrives, it hits her. She reaches for water, then milk, then arches her back, throws out her arms, and utters such a screech as she shouts in Korean. Upon recovery, she confesses that doing so “hurts my ego.” Ice cream helps ease the pain and the shame. She looks hella sexy with an ice cream spoon against her lower lip. Just sayin’.

When the ice cream does not stop the pain from the next wing, she freaks out. “I’m actually scared,” she cries out. “What am I going to do? What am I going to do?” She survives the experience and finds that the 10^th wing isn’t any less death-defying. He tightly gripped napkin becomes a sacrifice after she declares, “I feel like I need to rip things!” She has a stress ball which helps her center herself. Evans likes it, too. “This is a mental thing,” she insists. She slathers another wing, eats it, shrugs, and wins! Like so many sad sex encounters that she can use for lyrics fodder, she asks “why was that last one not spicy?”

SZA

There’s something about four-time Grammy Award winner SZA that really bugs me throughout this entire episode. I think it’s the complex facial prosthetics she wears when she’s sick of being herself. In this case, she’s a bug. Big eyes, antenna, total strange alien creature cuteness with a cleavage that screams “MAMMAL!” She is not a spicy food eater, but she is competitive. She is not a milk drinker, but she makes several exceptions for Hot Ones. Her first exception happens after her first wing, which she deems “yummy” before grabbing for what she considers “nasty” milk. After that, she begs him to hurry the process “to hell.” Alas for SZA, host Sean Evans assures her that it’s going to be a slow road to hell.

This works well for SZA, who admits that “I have a harder time enjoying anything if I don’t suffer for it.” With a table of mostly new sauces, she’s set to suffer. Nonetheless, she distracts herself from her pain by turning the tables and peppering the host with interview questions. We find out his sign of the zodiac, when he was born, if he is single, and more secrets. So informed, she doesn’t feel the burn until wing five. “That’s a little hot,” she says blandly before gulping more milk. She has a stronger opinion and reaction to the next sauce. She communicates with preverbal noises and flapping of arms and hands. By time for Da Bomb, she’s doing better than her host, or at least until she asks, “Why is this hotter now than it was a couple of seconds ago?” In spite of her pain, she’s no quitter.

For the finale, the two touch wings and begin to eat. Not for the first time, she bit off more spice than she wanted to chew. Her hand flies to her open mouth and she painfully proclaims herself now in touch spiritually and emotionally. Knowing Evans is single, as is she, is declared her high point during the torment. The lush Oscar nominee can’t wait to do his birth chart.