Only in Florida: The Best He-Bitch in Her Man Stable

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

I can think of few worse ways to earn a living in Florida than being the bookkeeper at an RV park, but if that's the hand you're dealt in life, you've gotta make do. If that means you like to pay a man twenty years your junior for sex, so be it, just make sure that you don't use your employer's bank account to pay the man whore. That's where Kelly Hardiston here went wrong...

Sure, Kathy's all smiles and why shouldn't she be? If this report from the Daytona Beach News Journal (link below) is to be believed, she was living high on the hog for quite some time...

A former Oak Hill recreational vehicle park bookkeeper wrote dozens of checks from her employer's account to a man after they would meet up to have sex, deputies said.

Investigators said Kelly Hardison, 53, who is charged with organized scheme to defraud $20,000 or more but less than $50,000, wrote 36 checks to Terri Patrick, 35, of Sanford, to pay for sex at hotels and at a mobile home.

Hardison of Lake Mary worked as bookkeeper for Jackson Hole RV and Fish Camp and Pro Steel. She also obtained a debit card for the fish camp, according to sheriff's reports. She made many fraudulent purchases at local businesses and 69 withdrawals from ATMs at Bank of America, Publix and a Sunoco gas station, investigators said.

Right, so she definitely needs to be charged and kept away from financial books and all that, but here's the point where I get a little confused and borderline indignant...

As sheriff's detectives delved into the case, they made contact with Patrick, who filled them in on the story of how he first met Hardison, and when they “started dating and messing around,” reports state.

Patrick said Hardison gave him $100 after he fixed her car the first time and then “started hooking me up,” deputies said. “She was buying me stuff and giving me money,” Patrick told investigators.

“Only thing I was giving her was me,” Patrick told deputies.

Sheriff's investigators asked Patrick if he would describe Hardison as his “sugar momma,” and Patrick readily answered, “Yeah, she was my sugar momma,” reports said.

Patrick, who is not facing any charges, further detailed that he and Hardison “would meet in some of the craziest places and do some crazy stuff,” reports state.

Patrick said they would meet in hotels and Hardison even brought him to mobile home by the water at the RV park where they spent several hours on several occasions. Patrick said Hardison would write checks for him whenever he left the RV park, reports state.

Detectives asked Patrick why some checks were made out to his mother and girlfriend and he explained that he had lost his identification card so he asked Hardison to make out checks in the names of Stallworth or Howard, reports state.

Patrick said he told Hardison that Howard was his cousin, instead of his girlfriend, because he didn't want Hardison to stop giving him checks.

Okay, what she did was wrong, but this piece of shit isn't facing any charges? I realize that he was unaware of what was really going on when it was going on, but once the cops explain this whole situation to him, doesn't he have to, I don't know, give that money back? It wasn't his to spend. If the genders were reversed, you'd better believe that a woman fraudulently being paid for sex would be held liable for that money. Fucking Florida... You're the worst.

Via Daytona Beach News Journal