I Suck at Sex Toys: Adam & Eve Bubble Butt Stroker

So, I have a confession to make. I suck at sex toys. I've spent the bulk of my adult life terrified of them, but all of that is about to change. In my new column I Suck At Sex Toys, I'll be attempting to conquer some fears and hopefully help you to conquer some of yours.

My intention when I started this column was to bring you a bunch of different kinds of toys before returning to something I've already reviewed. Having said that, an unexpected visit from my lady friend's Aunt Flo combined with receiving this package in the mail from the lovely Holly Kingstown means that I'm returning to the world of masturbators sooner than I thought...

Adam & Eve Bubble Butt Stroker

Grab the bouncing booty that vibrates as you stroke, giving you an incredible life-like doggy style experience! Made from soft and stretchy material that feels so real, the Bubble Butt delivers a natural suction that teases and pleases. Enjoy the ribbed channel inside for extra sensations, then switch on the bullet for more stimulation! And it's waterproof for bath and shower fun.

There's a phrase in there I would like to address and that is, "giving you an incredible life-like doggy style experience!" Unfortunately it's impossible to deliver a life-like doggy style experience when the stroker is the size of any other stroker. The scale issues present a number of psychological issues, not the least of which is that this looks not unlike two testicles with a hole in the middle. And yeah, I get what they were going for but it doesn't change the fact that this particular "bubble butt" is closer in scale to my daughter's American Girl Doll than an actual woman's ass, which is the last thought I need running through my head while trying to maintain an erection...

The non-penetrative end of the toy has an opening where you can insert a small bullet vibrator that comes packaged with the stroker. It does require one AAA battery, however, which is not included, so I now have to scavenge my remote controls to find such a battery. The boner-killing actions continue. Go ahead and laugh, as if you wouldn't be doing the exact same thing under the circumstances. I'll allow you a moment to feel superior to me, enjoy. 

The bullet packs quite a punch on its own, which isn't bad considering it is being powered by a battery that's closer to death than life. Unfortunately once it's in the stroker itself, it was more hindrance than help so I didn't use it. I did however use the small, condom wrapper-sized pouch of Adam & Eve Personal Lubricant that was also in the box, which worked quite nicely. 

The other item in the box is something referred to as a "Booty DVD." This package truly is an Assman's delight. Despite not being much of an ass man myself, I pop in the DVD hoping to find something that might put me in the mood. The DVD is one of those sampler deals with several different scenes from various Adam & Eve videos, but doesn't really hold anything that appealing to me so I skim my bookmarks looking for something that will work and after finding one, I'm ready to go.

Not wishing to repeat my mistakes from last time, I use plenty of lube, but part of creating a "life-like doggy style experience" involved making the hole very, very tight...

Then I realize, much like the Tin Man knows, that the proper amount of lube makes everything better...

I'll spare you the details, but needless to say, it does its job quite effectively. I would even wager to say that the overall experience was better than the deep throat stroker I used a few weeks back. However, this is the crucial moment where this product decides to show its Achilles heel. Remember that hole on the other end I made mention of earlier? The one where the bullet goes? Well guess what... That opening is connected to the opening on the other end, so anything that goes in that end, will indeed come out this end...

Thankfully it wasn't a big spill, but it was enough to make me extra leery of products with holes on both ends going forward. Overall my experience was very good and the stroker itself was slightly better than the last one I tried, but that second hole really spoiled the party.

I give it a 4/6 on the Flaccid to Fully Erect Scale...

Click here to pick one up for yourself or a friend!