The 10 Strangest Sex Toys We’ve Ever Seen

I don't think I fully understood that we live in a terrifying world until I came across a clown-shaped dildo, though perhaps it was the Edward Cullen vibrator. It's hard to tell these days. Either way, I know one thing to be true: Rule 34 isn't just about porn. If something exists in the world (yes, anything!), there's a sex toy dedicated to it. That includes leaf blowers, waffle makers, Hello Kitty, foot vaginas, and "The Little Mermaid." And while I consider myself to be pretty damn open-minded, I've come across a few sex toys that perplex even me. Shall I elaborate? 

10. Hooded Spandex Full Body Binder Sack 

Nothing says "I love you" like a body bag. 

9. Fisting Mitten 

The perfect stocking stuffer! 

8. Bacon condoms 

Well. I suppose this redefines "breakfast in bed." 

7. Dildo gas mask 

Can someone explain this to me? 

6. Artificial hymens

?????

5. Anal ring toss 

Hey, this could be kind of fun. 

4. An orgasmic washer 

OK, this is nuts. But it might help me get more laundry done ... 

3. A mermaid role play tail

I fucking love mermaids, AND I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THEY HAVE SEX.

2. An oral sex light 

This also looks like a hands-free mic, but what do I know? I'm sure it's very useful when searching for the clitoris. 

1. This

I just ... can't.