A Field Guide to Bridget Everett

Bridget Everett is a cabaret comedienne who has been performing in New York City for over a decade.  She sings like Bette Midler and flashes her big ol' titties at every single show while she guzzles chardonnay from inside an insulated bag that she holds at the ready on stage.  She is sexually aggressive in her show--readily choosing a man from the audience to grind her crotch on in every performance and well, at six feet tall, most people just are not used to a woman that large with that open of an appetite who openly mauls her audience.

I fucking love this woman.

While we sadly do not get to see the "big fucking pussy" of this gorgeous Kansas comedic goddess, you really should not miss watching her current special on Comedy Central--"Bridget Everett: Gynecological Wonder".  You will laugh for days at the power and wonder of what this strong, fierce songbird has to offer.  Everett performs with her band, The Tender Moments, in this special.  The band occasionally includes Adam “Ad-Rock” Horovitz from the Beastie Boys and Carmine Covelli from The Julie Ruin, the band of riot grrl genius Kathleen Hanna.  Horovitz is a confirmed collaborator of hers and in 2013, the two performed in a show called "Rock Bottom" that they co-wrote with super-dope comedy Tony nominated comedy musician Marc Shaiman and acclaimed Broadway director Scott Wittman.  Everett also has an album out with The Tender Moments called "Pound It" which is delightful to all of the senses.

She sings like an angel with those huge tits right out there for the world to see.  She runs her show, ladies and gents.  At last year's Bonnaroo, she co-starred in a show called "Down an' Dirty" with comedian Brad Williams and the show was hosted by two of the other funniest women in the world at this particular moment--Comedy Central's "Broad City" stars and creators Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer.  You know that had to be awesome.  

Comedienne pal Amy Schumer gave Everett a big push on her show "Inside Amy Schumer" by having Everett do stand-up on the show not once, but twice. But my favorite moment of Everett on the show is the Salem sketch where they face a witchcraft trial for being herpes-giving sluts and they face off against former suitors Jim Norton and judge Colin Quinn.  I laughed for about a day and a half after watching this scene.

Everett has also appeared on the series "Sex and the City" and "2 Broke Girls".  She also has a role in the big Schumer comedy "Trainwreck" that hits movie theaters nationwide this weekend.  Everett also had a small role in the sexy Mena Suvari-starring comedy "The Opposite Sex".

As part of a musical benefit for new talent theater Ars Nova NYC, Everett got to fulfill a lifelong dream and she sang on stage at Carnegie Hall with Broadway legend Patti Lupone last year.  They sang the Hall and Oates classic "Rich Girl" and did it fabulously.  

Everett is a woman who lets everything literally all hang out on stage but in her personal life, she describes herself as being reserved and is just a quiet woman who wants to hang out at home with her dog Poppy.  That makes complete sense to me as doing the show that she does on stage and having that persona out there has to be more than a little exhausting.  She is a part of a current, amazing renaissance of women just killing it int eh comedy world.  Woman-centered comedy movies are making millions at the box office ("Pitch Perfect 2", anyone?) and women in stand-up are getting way more of the respect and notice that they deserve.  Hell, it took Everett--who is fucking hilarious and has those unforgettable tits--OVER TEN FUCKING YEARS to get the acclaim that she has gotten recently.  

Everett herself said it excellently in a recent interview that she did for Vogue (of all places).  

It’s funny because I really consider myself more of a singer and a cabaret performer . . . I would have to say the comedy world has evolved at least to the place where it’s allowing and embracing something like what I do. I can’t recall a time in recent years you’d see someone doing cabaret on Comedy Central. I think people are more willing and open to see not just the guy standing there in the hoodie telling dick jokes but like a woman with a plunging neckline with her titty hanging out and thinking that’s funny, too.

So whatever kind of titties (tube sock or Tic Tac) that you got or that you love, do not fucking miss out on the bravery and brilliance of Everett.  It is truly funny watching the world adjust to something that they had no idea what to do with before.  I fucking love that.