Guy Nearly Burns Down House By Attempting To Clean Sex Toys

Husbands go to some pretty extreme lengths to keep their wives happy. Take this poor schmuck for example. He just wanted to clean off his wife's sex toys when he ended up nearly burning down his house. According to Uproxx (link below), a guy posted in the "Today I Fucked Up" section on reddit with a heartbreakingly hilarious story about a good deed gone terribly wrong. 

My wife and I had a minor argument last night, so I figured I’d start the day on a positive note. Get some cleaning done, tidy up around the house, make everything extra nice while she relaxes. Among other things that needed cleaning, we had several sex toys (silicone dildos) that we’d neglected to attend to.

You see... the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Wanting to be thorough, I brought these downstairs, set them in a small pot of water to boil (element on MAX setting), and headed upstairs for a moment to call my dad and wish him well. Quick convo with my dad turns into an involved talk with mom and dad, and about 15-20 minutes later, suddenly my smoke alarm is loudly going off. Having completely forgotten about the dildo boil, I casually get up and prepare to disarm the “false alarm” taking place in my house… until a huge waft of black, inky smoke winds its way around the bedroom door. I immediately think “WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING HELL IS BURNING” and at the same time hear my wife scream ” WHAT THE F*CK?!?!?!”

Man, she was just instantly ungrateful, though, wasn't she?

I rush downstairs into a kitchen billowing disgusting, black smoke, and see a massive pillar of flame exploding upwards out of the tiny pot, which by now has been boiling dry for probably a few minutes. Wife is panicky, trying to activate the (luckily right at hand) fire extinguisher, failing with it, hands it to me and I finally manage to blast the noxious dildo blaze with the entire contents of the extinguisher.

Good thing he was there to help her use the extinguisher. Women, amirite?

Set the scene for you… Entire house is blanketed in a disgusting, probably highly toxic smog of burnt silicone, with tiny pieces of chemical ash over everything in the kitchen… I put on two surgical masks and run upstairs to open the windows — dumb move in retrospect, could’ve passed out up there and totally died — but at least this averts everything in our upstairs being ruined by dildo smog.

Granted, this whole thing was a total catastrophe from minute one, but at least he was able to contain it. I foresee nothing but glass dildos in this couple's future. I managed to secure footage from the scene and convert it into a GIF for your enjoyment.

Via Uproxx