Teen Porn Star Val Midwest Jailed for Nude Shoot at Catholic School

March 28, 2014
MCBEARDO

Priests and nuns and naked teenage fun dare not mix, at least according the Nebraska legal system.

Valerie Dodds, 19, better (and wetter) known by her online porn star moniker Val Midwest, took up the cross of incarceration on March 26, 2014 after being convicted for indecent exposure.

At issue was a late-night nude photo shoot in June 2013 on the grounds of Lincoln, Nebraska's Pope Pius X High School—which also happens to be Val's alma mater. Tits and blasphemy!

For frolicking as the Lord created her in and around the religious institution from which she graduated just weeks prior, Val will endure 45 days in Lancaster County Jail—that's five days longer than Jesus spent in the desert, true believers.

"I'm taking it as a really bad vacation," Dodd told KETV. "I'm not going to work or do anything. I feel like I'm harmless as to what I did, and they are definitely bringing the hammer as far as the sentencing goes."

Dodd's attorney added that 45 days is the stiffest sentence he's ever come across for indecent exposure.

Val initially appealed the ruling, but ultimately agreed to undergo her penance. It is likely a bitter sacrament to swallow, as Val stated her motivation for stripping and masturbating on the supposedly sacred soil of papist education was "revenge" against classmates and teachers who verbally crucified her for sharing heaven's gift of the human body online.

"Everyone in my high school had something nasty to say to me when I stared my website," Val posted when the photos went live, "so this is my tribute to all of you. I held nothing back. I used my fingers, my toys and even my crucifix in my pussy. Now when you say all those nasty things about me, you have a good reason."

Not noted in any news reports is whether of not Val Midwest will make the moist of her time behind bars with a traditional source of Catholic comfort, a holy-oil-lubed set of rosary beads. But if she does, we sure hope she takes pictures of how, exactly, she puts them to ecstatic good use—and, remember, it's always more rapturous with a friend (although we hear the Church of Rome's none too keen on that either, sinners).