Sean Michaels Knows How To Dress

Whichever eyewear company Sean Michaels uses, they should send him some cash.

Sean Michaels is in a suit, and announces he needs to make a conference call. He raises Lexington Steele, Jack Napier, and Mr. Marcus. "We need to have a meeting in regards to coming together and working as one for the betterment of us all," he says.

Thus begins Michaels' "The Black Pack," in which the 22-year ("and counting") adult industry veteran and venerable buddies have sex with Cali Sweets, Layton Benton, Leah Luxxx, Bambi Wolfe, and Monique Symone.

But that's it.

The way Michaels builds it up, you'd think these dudes would be solving some crime. Instead the four gentlemen show up in their suits for a photoshoot (bonus disc), Nina Hartley explains Michaels' importance to the adult business (but doesn't have sex with anyone), and the men go to various rooms to fuck, just like in any other movie.

I'm not saying they are bad at it. Everyone performs at the standard for which he or she is rightfully famous. But the air of self-congratulation is off-putting, especially since the suits are so nice.

If there is to be a "Black Pack 2," I'd like these guys to have sex with their dates and then go implement the Kyoto Accords. Still, this movie was way better than the similarly-attired "Reservoir Dogs" porn parody.

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