“The Swinger”: It Don’t Mean A Thing If It Ain’t Committing Adultery

You know how these things go: young couple loses interest in sex, wise friend suggests some kinky biz, secret passions are unleashed, new body parts are brought into the bedroom, relationship strength is restored. It's essentially the classic Hero's Journey with more facesitting.

In real life, bringing a new partner into the boudoir may cause jealousy and resentment, but no so in the porn world. More bodies is more better; the law of diminishing marginal utility is no match for India Summer's pussy.

Lily Carter and James Deen are a young couple from the country who find themselves in a bit of a sexual rut. James gets hired to work at a fancy law firm in Los Angeles, and the two of them feel hopeful that the city will rejuvenate their mutual freakiness. But it's not the city that will spice up their sex lives, it's James's new boss, India Summer. That power-hungry MILF has her eyes on James and Lily, and she's determined to bang them both, one way or another.

Obviously, the fun part of this film will be seeing how India leads her new playthings to a point of sexual self-discovery, but we're going to skip ahead and look at the pictures that represent India's conquest. Imagine the euphoria she must feel at turning not one but two young adults into willing lovers who want to sit on her face and eat her out at the same time. And imagine how the couple must feel with India spitting on their genitals and forcing Lily's ass down on James's dick after being under her heel for so long! Also, good on James for making sure to have enough come for his woman and his boss.

There are other people grinding their groins together in "The Swinger," but we can't quite figure how they fit into the narrative. The back of the box tells us that India sends James and Lily on "a devious goose-chases of self-discovery, ultimately leading them back to her secret world where swinging is more than an amusing pastime," so perhaps every other sex scene is an illustration of some of the virtues of swinging. When Erik Everhard and Chanel Preston have sex, it must be a parable for the importance of always ejaculating on pubic mound tattoos.

Could "The Swinger" be so persuasive that even though who watch it will feel compelled to find play parties and swap spouses? If so, does that make you want to watch it more? We gladly welcome brainwashing care of James Avalon and Sweet Sinner. We'll drink whatever Kool-Aid they give us, as long as it comes with India Summer.

· Sweet Sinner (sweetsinner.com)
· Buy "The Swinger" (adultdvdempire.com)