Porn For Straight Girls: Alternative Lifestyles

This week's column is an excuse to talk about how hot Wolf Hudson is. So hot, people. In fact, between Wolf, Nick Manning, and Sean Michaels, this might be the sexiest group of male performers that doesn't include James Deen.

"Cheaters Retreat 2" is the second in a Sweet Sinner series, directed by Nica Noelle. It takes place at a relationship rescue retreat led by "Relationship Guru" Nick Manning, who looks here like the yoga-instructor version of Jeff Goldblum. Chastity Lynn and Magdalene St. Michaels are in therapy because Chastity wants to stray... to men! Darla Crane and Sean Michaels are struggling with infidelity as well. Rayveness just wants to figure out why her relationships always end badly. Wolf Hudson arrives as the third wheel in another couple's relationship (he's an "emotional affair" for the man). I don't remember their names because they only make brief, non-sex appearances in the very beginning. Why anyone, man or woman, would settle for simply an emotional affair with Wolf is beyond me, but okay.

Chastity Lynn approaches Nick Manning to admit that she slept with Sean Michaels during their stay at the retreat. (We don't get to see that scene. I'm more than a little upset by this.) She doesn't know if she should tell Magdalene or not, and also says the funniest line: "I'd never seen a penis in real life before!" Nick decides that in order to help her figure out what she wants, he needs to be a little more hands-on with his therapy. So they fuck in the grass, and then fuck in a bed, and it's super-hot. I really like Chastity Lynn. I'm not generally a fan of blondes, for whatever reason, but she's kind of great. Shrieky and enthusiastic. Also, Nick Manning! So awesome.

As Sean and Darla Crane are packing to leave, Sean confesses that he doesn't think he'll ever be able to remain completely faithful, even though he wants to. Darla's all, "That's cool, I already fucked the Relationship Guru. We're going to a swingers party next weekend." Sean (whose glasses make him the most adorable thing ever) is so excited he decides to celebrate with oral sex. Who can blame him? That's how I like to celebrate my victories too. I love the way Sean Michaels fucks. He's so beautiful to watch, and he and Darla Crane actually pull off relationship-y coupling, with lots of giggling and whispering and appreciative noises.

Chastity and Magdalene, meanwhile, are breaking up. But once they're done having that chat, enter Wolf Hudson, who is all, "Let's have a threesome!" He literally says, "Let's get to the sex." There is no explaination for how he convinced them to do this, or what it means for their relationship. Or where that other couple that he was in an emotional love triangle with went. It doesn't matter, because Wolf Hudson is so fine. He really does look lupine. His name is so appropriate. Also, I hate tribal tattoos, but his are really sexy. Also, he breathes really heavily, and growls, and is all primal and aggressive. I did warn you I would gush like this. I'd really like Nica to branch into bisexual porn, so I can watch Wolf Hudson fuck both men and women indiscriminately. She should make a movie featuring only him and his fantasies, like Tristan Taormino did with Adrianna Nicole in "Rough Sex 3." The threesome is pretty awesome in its own right, as well, even if Wolf hadn't been the particular man involved. Chastity and Magdalene have great chemistry.

Nick Manning is getting a massage from Rayveness for no apparent reason, while giving her a speech where he compares himself to Spiderman. They seem to have actual affection for each other, so maybe they're dating? But since Nick's been sort of goofy about his "destiny" as a love guru the whole time, it's hard to be sure if this is supposed to be ridiculous or sincere. There is a great bit of their scene where he's naked and she's fully clothed and they're making out, which I really liked. It was kind of different.

Sweet Sinner films are always fun, a little goofy, a little cheesy, with plenty of great sex and hot performers. This wasn't any different. I liked that it promoted the idea that a monogamous relationship isn't for everyone, and that fidelity means different things to different couples, rather than exploiting the idea of cheating or cuckolding. To me, it shows that porn doesn't necessarily have to cater to the taboo in order to be appealing or erotic. It demonstrates a different standard for loving relationships, plus there's lots of dirty fuckery!

· Image courtesy of Mile High Media (milehighonline.com)
· Buy "Cheaters Retreat 2" (store.fleshbot.com)

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