Pornstars, like all great artists, can do amazing things when constricted creatively. Sometimes "constricted" means "bondage," other times it means "140 characters or less." Today we're saluting the talented performers whose tiny tweets make our days brighter/attention spans lower.
Truth be told, we're not the first to compile a list of obsession-worthy pornstar Twitter pages. The Daily Beast just wrote one, and while we think their hearts are in the right place, their article is missing something. Specifically: more non-white performers and any dudes. So we're going to remedy that, plus, throw in some other enjoyable tweets. Let's begin...
Sinnamon Love: Feel like curling up on the couch with this foxy AVN Hall of Famer? Who doesn't? Sinnamon isn't likely to invite everyone over for a cozy movie night, but you can always grab a tub of popcorn and read her movie tweets.
Syd Blakovich: Speaking of movies, our beloved Syd offers some food for thought regarding two of our favorite films (hey, don't judge our taste). What do you think about the parallels between these two films? This will be your first creative writing assignment for the class.
Ryan Keely: Sometimes she chats up her super famous author BFFL Warren Ellis, and sometimes she reaches out to her fans for help. If Twitter was made for one thing, it was made to connect pornstars with their fans, and all of the secret Mr. T-on-unicorn porn that they're hiding from her.
Jiz Lee: Earlier, Jiz mentioned that they needed a ride from the airport, invoking the ancient offer of "Ass, Cash, Or Grass." Well, it looks like they got that ride, and the results clearly show which form of payment was handed over for the transportation.
Ava Rose: Sometimes we want to read about the raunchy things pornstars do in their spare time, but sometimes we don't. Ava writes about writing comic books, having a kid, and starting school this spring. Adorable! God we hope she gets that textbook.
Stoya: It's not enough to be naturally funny, take improv classes, and be one of the hottest pornstars on Earth. Now Stoya is threatening to wear a clown nose all winter long.
Marie Luv: Marie Luv is a funny lady, without a doubt, but when she tags something "drunktweets" you better absolutely take her seriously and get out of the way of her squirt.
Kimberly Kane: Twitter is the best way for fans to get in touch with pornstars, everyone knows that. But did you know that pornstars can use Twitter to make deals, ask for help, and send mafia death threats/declarations of love to other pornstars? That's called networking.
Dana DeArmond: We know The Daily Beast already mentioned Dana, but we had to post this tweet of hers.
Joanna Angel: Joanna was also mentioned by The Daily Beast, which was rad, but perhaps didn't capture the depth of her humor. In addition to all of her film-related talents, she's a dedicated blogger, a sharp writer, and is appearing on Adult Swim's "Children's Hospital." We think this tweet is referring to that show. (We hope.)
Bobbi Starr: Yes, ok, The Daily Beast also covered Bobbi Starr; yes, we know, we're biters. Still, we thought we should give you a different look at Bobbi's brain. Yes, she sometimes writes things like "Anyone who thinks Hollywood is 'the dream' is delusional or a HUGE douche bag. This shit is lame. Grow up," and other times she talks about making the best potato soup in the world, but mostly she posts lots of links to naked pictures of her or goofy comics (like the comic mentioned above)!
Keni Styles: Oh, the lifestyles of the pornographic and glamorous... What's better than one pornstar making it rain? One pornstar making it rain upon another pornstar.
James Deen: Where do we even begin? Just go to his Twitter page and look around. This one post we found doesn't even do it justice.
Buck Angel: Wait, you don't feel like thinking about farts? Maybe you'll like this: Buck signs off every other post with a simple "WOOF!" It's like the adorable equivalent of Tommy Gunn's "NICE."
Danny Wylde: Sure, we love a good laugh, but it's also cool to see pornstars express their serious sides. Case in point: Danny Wylde links to a blog post and video that explores how the Pink Cross spends its money (spoiler alert: not helping sex workers).
Tyler Knight: Tyler isn't just an oustanding pornstar, he's also a hard-working writer who knows the value of his words. A bunch of his tweets link to short stories he's written, some of his tweets are dark and brooding like the one above, and a few of musings are about Slurpees.
Brian Street Team: Let the record show that male pornstars are fine, upstanding citizens who would never take advantage of a state of emergency to increase their electronics supply and personal wealth.
Dan Reilly: Don't let this tweet worry you, Dan Reilly isn't having sex with people (well, not on film). He's one of our favorite non-sex porn performers—you might recognize him from "Reno 911: A XXX Parody" as Terry, or as Ned Flanders in "Simpsons XXX: Homer And Marge's Sex Tape"—and he's absolutely worth following on Twitter (as are all of these lovely people we mentioned).