Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Trojan “Tri-phoria”

First of all, Trojan makes vibrators? I don't know why this is surprising to me; it seems like a natural progression, after all. Even more surprising is that Trojan's vibrator, which I thought would be boring, was actually decent.

The Tri-phoria came to the office in a pearly lavender package that resembled a cardboard jewelry box. The top of the box held the actual vibe, in a clear plastic container. When I opened the top, it started playing music. Like, funky, New Wave harem music. Which didn't stop when I closed the box. It took me ten minutes to rip the music player out and turn it off. (This was especially awkward since I was still in the office.) There was a little drawer at the bottom of the box with a lavender soy candle; a bag of lavender bath salts; and a bottle of green tea lotion. The lotion was not lube. Very odd. Why would you include lotion with a vibrator that didn't double as lube?

The vibrator itself is pretty elegant aesthetically, and neatly compact. It wasn't exactly the kind of toy I would full-on fuck myself with, because the wide base and relatively short shaft aren't conducive to that. But it comes with a hard, bumpy stimulator tip that was great as a clit-only vibe, and two silicone tips in case you did want to use the toy in your pussy. The toy is operated with two buttons on the base: one "plus" and one "minus." I liked the dual controls, but it's always irritating to have to click through a ton of patterns to get to the one you like, and then back down to shut it off. In this case, I think it's a matter of preference whether you would be happy with the mechanism or not.

It's fitting that Trojan's vibe would be one that I think is best suited for use with your partner. A bullet vibe can get lost amid two people, and I don't like to bring a giant scary dildo into bed with me; it's just too distracting. This toy was nicely sized and subtle enough that it would be a great addition to your relationship sex life, while also being useful for your solo adventures. Not bad, Trojan. It almost makes up for the ridiculous commercials you advertised this with!

· Buy Trojan Triphoria (trojanvibrations.com)