You can either buy a handjob from Ikea, take it home, assemble it poorly, and have a bunch of pieces missing, or you grab a friend and build the handjob you've always wanted.
We love Ikea and everything, it's just not the top of the pops. Our dream chifforobe comes with titty squeezing and an open-mouthed facial; they can't offer that. They do offer Swedish meatballs, that's pretty sweet.
· She jerks me off (xtube.com)