“Pubic Hair For Sale”: Get ‘Em While They’re Curly And Rough!

May 30, 2010
OTTIMO-MASSIMO

We joke! These hot babes sport the finest, fluffiest, softest bushes around, and everyone's just dying to get hold of them. The only question is: do you want the girl, or just her pubes?

Pubic Hair For Sale

Studio: White Ghetto Films
Cast: Daria Glower, Charmel, Kitty Saliery, Martyna, J.J., Leon, Steve Q., Dillon Day

Everyone knows that White Ghetto has a thing for hairy chicks—and we're down with that—but this is a bit much.

At first we just thought that "Pubic Hair For Sale" was a strange title for a porn flick about girls with substantial bushes, but as it turns out, there appears to be a financial transaction put in motion that involves the exchange of goods for the pubic hair of these fine young women.

Daria Glower starts off the show with JJ, and JJ really shows his pubic appreciation. He massages her pubes, grooms them with his tongue, shaping them as he pleases before he moves his mouth lower. But even when he's slipped a finger in her ass, he doesn't forget about the pubes; he occasionally grabs a mouthful of Daria's bush. Save for a bit of anal action, JJ gives a standard performance, and pops on her mouth.

All of a sudden Daria is left alone, squatting over a small basin with bucket, soap, and razor. She shaves her pubes—grooms them into a neat trapezoid stemming from the top of her clit—and sits there, smiling, proud, and radiant.

Charmel's scene with Leon is tactically the same as Daria's, except before she shaves off her underbrush, she takes out a pair of scissors and clips some curls into a baggie. At this point we start to wonder, "Who is buying the pubes?" We checked White Ghetto's website to see if they would sell us some pubes, but Charmel's carpet clippings were nowhere to be found.

Nor were Kitty Saliery's or Martyna's (respective) pubes available for purchase, and they too cut souvenirs into baggies (and Kitty kept inching her scissors dangerously close to sensitive parts). Where did these baggies go?

The Mystery of the Missing Pubes is probably the most riveting aspect of "Pubic Hair For Sale", and not just because we have a thing for Hardy Boys-type antics, but because the sex is somewhat lackluster and/or creepy.

Kitty and Steve Q have a lovely and plain scene together, though Steve's lightning-paced hammering is impressive in its own way (mad pelvic power on that boy). Unfortunately, Dillon Day gives a lecherous introduction to Martyna's scene and interrupts her striptease with stiff-fingered jabs at her butt cheeks, and the whole thing goes sour before it even begins.

So if you're somewhat of a carpetbagger with a taste for mystery, you'll really enjoy "Pubic Hair For Sale". However, if you were hoping to purchase some hot girl's pubes through (semi-)legitimate means, you'll just have to stick to craigslist.

· Buy "Pubic Hair For Sale" (gamelink.com)