“Housewives” Need A Whole Lotta Love

Let's face it—it's boring as hell in suburbia. They don't have the excitement of gangsta rap to fall back on, which is why your average housewife needs to be pleasured forty times a day by random dudes.

It's because of the boredom! Clearly! And the lack of gangsta rap. You think they have time to listen to rap with all that screwing going on? No way. They're listening to Led Zepplin, album two, while the juice runs down their legs and into some other guy's margarita glass.

And to be perfectly honest, we don't mind all that much, so long as we get to watch. So when we heard that those dirty MILFish sluts over there on Wicked's Amber Lane were making a sequel, we can't say that it came as much of a surprise—because it did not! What do you expect them to do all day? Clean dishes while Raoul the cute landscaper with no shirt flaunts his washboard abs all day in the front yard? Come on, people. Think!

Plus, they have to practice to get good at making babies. That's why they're in suburbia, man!

Amber Lynn, Janet Mason, Angie Savage, Samantha Ryan, Charisma Cappelli, and Kiara "Cypher" Diane have mastered the art of giving supreme baby making pleasure with their vaginas and can now afford to eat bon bons, watch soap operas, and milk every single last drop of splooge from the heavy balls of undocumented transient workers, pool boys, delivery men, salespeople, and Jehovah's witnesses.

Maybe if you didn't work so much things would be different, but we sincerely doubt it. Don't be jealous. Just think of it as sexual training for when you get home, big guy—but make sure she uses the mouthwash. That's all we're saying. We know where director performer Randy Spears has been.

"The Housewives of Amber Lane 2" is out now. Check it out!

Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)