“Seasoned Players 8”: The 25-Year Popshot

Tom Byron has been in porn so long (almost 30 years) and has appeared in so many movies (more than 2,000) that you'd expect him to be more of a cad in his interviews.

Seasoned Players 8

Studio: Tom Byron
Director: Tom Byron
Cast: Kelly Nichols, Janet Mason, Devon Lee, Vannah Sterling, Lola Martin

Review by: Gram Ponante

Byron, who is pushing 50, conducts pre-sex interviews with the cougars he will soon service with a familiarity and gentility that is almost humble.

The first scene of Byron's cougar-themed "Seasoned Players 8" features Janet Mason (who happened to turn 42 this week).

Byron reads from a list of Mason's turn-ons and turn-offs as printed from her website. He meets some of the turn-on requirements, but not others. All of this is moot, however, considering they are about to have sex anyway. Still, you can almost see Byron saying "Damn!" when he misses one.

Byron's interview style is much like Tina Tyler's; you don't hear any heavy breathing, (1), and the joke is never on the performer (2). We learn that Mason has been an Internet model for ten years and that she actually loves porn, unlike many of her video counterparts. Byron makes reference to "Porgy And Bess" in the beginning of the interview and, after the sex, allows himself an even more appropriate quote ("Dammit, Janet") from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." It seemed so much more refined.

And it's important that each of the interviews is good because it informs the sex. Fans of cougars will love Devon Lee and Vannah Sterling because they look the part of horny, underappreciated office managers With A Secret. But these women are doing the same thing as their 18-year-old porn counterparts are doing, except with some extra skin flushing, stretchmark stretching, and visible strain, so the interviews allow the viewer a sense of context that a barely-legal kewpie doll without a hint of sag can't provide.

Byron also talks with Lola Martin, who is 32. It is hard for me to think of someone who is 32 as "seasoned" (I, myself, plan to still be making the same mistakes that I do now when I turn 32 in several years' time), but Lola is a firecracker. She tells a story about blowing her dentist that made me rethink my career choices (for the first time!) and seek out reasons for her to stop by my office on her daily errands.

The best pairing, however, was the final scene, with covergirl Kelly Nichols. Nichols last appeared in an adult movie in 1984, and her interview with Byron touched on the old Adult Film Association Awards (precursor to the AVNs) once held at L.A.'s late Ambassador Hotel and a scene they might have appeared in together (though the IAFD has no record of it) in which Nichols thought Byron looked too much like her younger brother.

How does the scene go? Nichols herself turns 50 this year, and she's still got it (though she keeps much of it hidden under a blouse). When she coaxes from Byron her first porn pop shot in a quarter century, she laughs out loud.

In short, maybe the latest teen off the bus from Nevada might be decades more toned, firm, and disaffected than these seasoned players, but what's there to talk about?

· Tom Byron Pictures (evolutiondist.com)
· Buy "Seasoned Players 8" (gamelink.com)