“It Takes Two #6” To Make A Thing All Right

As was demonstrated by panelists at last year's Fleshbot Alpine Institute, 98.4 percent of porn DVD purchases are made on the basis of boxcover photos alone. So what do we learn about "It Takes Two #6"? Well, it is that hot-panted desert hookers still roam the earth, scenting the saguaro with their melon body spray and enticing the panamint chipmunk up their gym socks.

But Nika Noir and Jessica Valentino are not in the desert, really, unless you hold to the belief that Los Angheles is the desert. They writhe and strain in a house apocryphally linked to the Captain and Tennille (apparently the duo once stayed there, or so the story goes, and kept an elephant) overlooking Canoga Park; we see Porn Valley stretched out below them.

Then Mark Wood arrives. One can infer a lot from this photograph - it is as if most of him doesn't want to be there.

We visited this house when we told you about "Insertz. Nothing has changed!

Noir and Valentino kiss each other afterward, I guess for a job well done, but although every other part of their bodies has touched over the preceding 10 minutes, their faces never do.

Ultimately we felt like Mark Wood did.

· Red Light District (clubredlight.com)
· Buy "It Takes Two #6" (gamelink.com)