Best of Sex Advice

If your job is a sex advice columnist and someone takes the time to write to you with a sincere and heartfelt problem, there's really no excuse for not being able to make some shit up if it doesn't happen to fall within your realm of expertise, no matter how worthless your suggestions might be. However, for at least one of our columnists whose pearls of wisdom you're about to experience, even phoning it proved too much of a challenge. Seriously, giving advice isn't that hard; we're constantly providing our insights and opinions to friends, and they don't even ask for it! Giving good advice, well ... let's just say our motto is "you get what you pay for."

Read how sex lives are being made better (or worse) at this very moment in today's Best Of Sex Advice roundup after the jump.

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Sex Project Sex Questions (sex-project.com)

i started havin sex like.. 6 months ago. and i think 'it' looks ugly and streched now:(!

is there such thing as 'an ugly pussy'?

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Savage Love (thestranger.com)

Is it too much for me to ask that the guy I'm going down on pops in a reasonable amount of time? Or am I expecting too much?

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Ask Rachel & Claire (babeland.com)

I'm a female. When I masturbate, after a while it feels as though the room is spinning when I close my eyes. And then I become intensely hot; then I get this amazing pleasure. Is that an orgasm??? I'm not too sure.

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Dategirl (seattleweekly.com)

I don't doubt the existence of bisexuals or that one's preference can shift from time to time, but Dabblers aren't real dykes. They're not even bisexual. They're the drunk college girls you see making out with their friends in order to titillate the frat jackasses in the next booth. Sometimes they'll even have flings with other women, but only so they can feel worldly and vaguely scandalous. Women like this can really fuck up an unsuspecting gay girl.

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Get Naked (timeout.com/newyork)

I am a gay male in my early thirties. Not too long ago, I was introduced to the most phenomenal man. ... Last week, over a beautiful dinner at his place, he disclosed that he is HIV-positive ... I don't know how to enter this relationship without the constant fear of contraction looming over our heads. What do I do? This has been extremely painful for me. I don't want to lose him, but I also don't want to put myself at the risk I've spent my entire adult sexual life avoiding.

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The Sexual Etiquette Guide (esquire.com)

Is it wrong to get aroused during a massage, and how can I avoid it?

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All Sex Advice - Forum (allsexadvice.com)

Doggy style is my favorite position and with past sexual partners I have never had a problem. My bf and I are having a slight problem with most positions because his penis is curved slightly. I have been told I have a slightly tilted cervix myself ... Anyways, what I want to know is there any way that we can do it doggy style without injury him.

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Suzanne Holland, Metro Spirit (metrospirit.com)

Here's my problem: I feel like everyone at all of these places and more is always staring at and talking about my tiny breasts. I swear to heaven that God totally forgot about me when I hit puberty and I often wonder if guys aren't interested in me because of it ... Should I buy myself a pair of bigger and better boobs?

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OpenUp: The PuckerUp Forums (puckerup.com)

The TSA Stole My Butt Plug!!!

I just purchased the Pyrex butt plug at Babeland in LA earlier this month, I was very excited about it and was hoping I could incorporate it into play with my wife. It made it back to Chicago fine 2 weeks ago, but I thought I'd bring it along on this trip, thinking it might be fun to use, but alas there was no play this week. It was in my luggage for the trip back home, still in its red felt pouch. And now in unpacking my luggage, it is nowhere to be found and I took that suitcase apart! Damn it all. Usually the TSA will leave a note in your bad if they inspected it, but nope, they probably figured no one would report a missing butt plug.

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In & Out (timeout.com/chicago)

Q: I have just started reading TOC and your column regularly and thought you might be a good person to go to for advice. I have a friend who keeps putting herself in stupid sexual situations ... She isn't listening to me when I tell her that she is heading down a slippery slope that is going to end with an unwanted pregnancy or STI. Have you any advice [emphasis added] to throw her way to make her realize that she is playing a game of Russian roulette with her sex life?

A: Not really.

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Previously: Best of Sex Advice Archive