Morning Wood

· It's been quite the week for celebrity beach and bikini photos: There was Scarlett, of course, and Helena Christensen (with bonus topless pics), and American sweetheart Kelly Clarkson (eating a hot dog, no less) ... and our secret lust object, German chancellor Angela Merkel. (Sadly, that last one is not a joke.) (drunkenstepfather.com + egotastic.com + wwtdd.com + Reuters + corriere.it)

· It may prove difficult for Karrine "Superhead" Steffans to stop the release of the DVD featuring a hardcore scene from her self-admitted "coke whore" past—especially since it's, like, already available for preorder. Maybe she'll find comfort in the arms of the most "explosive and amazing" lover she ever had: Bill Maher? (AVN + NY Daily News)

· CNET reports: "Web site operators posting sexually explicit information must place official government warning labels on their pages or risk being imprisoned for up to five years, the Bush administration proposed Thursday." Start baking those cakes with files inside them for us now, kids! (news.com.com; more @ Boing Boing)

· Jenna Jameson's media juggernaut continues apace with a new photo spread in the May issue of Esquire. Like we keep telling you, resistance is futile. (savemanny.blogspot.com)

· If you're stuck at home tonight and looking for something fun on the tube, you're in luck: those wacky Glassers (a.k.a. Seymour Butts and clan) are back for the fourth season of "Family Business". We put the over/under on bare asses at five. (sho.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives