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Porn Valley Dispatch

CELEBRITY

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Seymore Butts takes us back to a simpler time when porn happened on buses; Michael Ninn's Catherine onslaught continues (but to what end?); and plucky Brits return to normalcy by forming a Gang Bang Club in today's edition of the Porn Valley Dispatch ... which you can read after following a jump of some kind.- G. Ponante

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"I am he as you are he and you are me and we are all together," Seymore Butts did not say when asked about his latest business venture, a party bus service that is being launched tonight with an exciting and new! tour around the Van Nuys countryside. The party buses, he said, will feature local dancers, a stripper pole, and a bar on board. L.A. County laws prohibit full nudity and liquor existing in the same place (unless it's my capoeira class), so the bus will need to travel 12 miles out to sea before the bodyshots start happening.

Seymore Butts' Exposed Entertainment (xxxposedentertainment.com)

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I travelled to Hollywood's world famous Farmer's Market on Third and Fairfax yesterday to gauge consumer reaction to Michael Ninn's Catherine. Armed only with press material for the film, shot this year in Hungary, I asked tourists to play a little game of word association with the phrase "Michael Ninn Dives Into The Surreal With The Exceptional!", emphasizing the capitalization that marks Ninn's ouevre:

GP: Michael Ninn Dives Into The Surreal With The Exceptional!
David Grupper, Kentucky: Michael Ninn Drives Into The Field With No Directionals!

GP: Michael Ninn Dives Into The Surreal With The Exceptional!
Kimberlee Loureiro, Billerica: Michael Ninn Meets Norman Vincent Peale In The Confessional!

GP: Michael Ninn Dives Into The Surreal With The Exceptional!
Scott Motard, Kenosha: Michael Ninn Dives Into The Veal At Trendy Hollywood Eatery. "It's Exceptional," Says Pretentious Porn Director!

Michael Ninn's Catherine (ninnworx.com)

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Like Graham Greene, we like our British women blowsy, earthy, and Catholic. Regardless, Mother England has responded to the news that Angelina Jolie's latest tot acquisition is not actually an orphan with the stiff-upper-lip resolve best expressed with a gang bang video featuring blowsy, earthy women who make one rethink transsubstantiation.

Kat Varga's Gang Bang Club follows the exploits of Varga and friends, one of whom is named Faye Rampton, as they cope with a country's sadness using the medium of gang bangs.

Black Widow Media (blackwidowmedia.com)

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Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archives
 


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