Only in Florida: To Boldly Wank Where No One Has Wanked Before

Beam Me Up, Scotty

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

Star Trek is an iconic television show and film franchise that has excited audiences for decades. The crew of the Enterprise have explored new worlds, seek out new life and new civilization, and for the ship's famed Captain to bold wank it where no one has wanked it before... at least that's according to one Florida man.

Yes, it would seem that James Roger Bundrick tried his best to convince Clearwater police that he was, in fact, James Tiberius Kirk beamed down to Earth to masturbate on a bus stop bench. Sadly the Clearwater police didn't believe he was Captain Kirk. I don't know if it was the lack of a uniform or toupee, but Mr. Bundrick wasn't able to prove he was on a five year mission and was taken into custody. Perhaps Mr. Bundrick thought he was on the holo-deck, but accidentally stepped on the transporter. I'm sure that's happened a couple of times on the all the ships of Starfleet.

Had Mr. Bunrdick simply beamed back up to his ship the police would have to believe him. Maybe he's saving that for when it's in jail.

Live long and wank it in private, Mr. Bunrdick.

via Miami Herald